Friday, December 31, 2004

This is the coolest blog entry ever. Serious, you have to read it. It will have you at the edge of your seat. Not even joking.

Today I really do have a lot to write about. I guess today's freakishly long entry will make up for yesterday's. Throughout this entry, you will encounter a dream, a movie, yet another Auntie Cindy tale, and many other twists and turns that took place during the past twenty-four hours. Let's start.

Last night, Father, Leli, and I went to Sevelie's Pizza and Pasta Palace for an absolutely horrid meal. My decision went like this:

Leli: Well, you wanted pasta, Pencil Case. What will it be?
Me: Hmmm... Let's see. It is either spaghetti or Fettucini, both with meat sauce. Decisions, decisions.

I ended up getting the spaghetti. Aside from the fact that it was horrible and made me want to throw up, it wasn't bad. After dinner, I went to visit Carrie. We talked about how Erin Ford thinks everything is worse in her life.

Carrie: I swear to God. Erin makes me so mad! Get this, the other day, we got to talking about the tsunami and this is what she said, "I don't get why all of those Asians are so pissed off, I mean when I was in Hawaii, a tsunami twenty feet high happened and I survived. Also, all of the people in Florida survived! They need to quit complaining." She is such a bitch. The Indonesian tsunami was not [sarcastically] twenty feet high. It was three f**king stories high. It wasn't a wave like she had been through. It was an earthquake that happened under the water and created a title wave that killed 127,000 people. Hawaii has waves twenty feet high all the time. It's not like her life was in danger. She needs to grow up.

Yes. Carrie felt very strongly about this topic. We talked for roughly ten more minutes before my dad came to pick us up. He took Carrie to, where else, Erin's house then we went home. When we got there, Tanya called. She wanted to take me to Boarder's then to a 10:10pm showing of Spanglish. At Boarder's I bought Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (Kellinka will be so proud), The Rough Guide To Everything iPod, The Lord of the Flies, and a special present for Kellinka. I was about to buy this set of CDs and books about how to teach yourself Swahili. I should have bought it. At 9:55pm, we took off to see Spanglish. It was, surprisingly, a great movie. I loved it. It was great. On the way home, roughly 1:17am, Tanya and I had a great conversation about high school, relationships, and friends. I learned a lot (thanks Tanya!)

I went to bed right away. I had a weird dream, though. I think this is how it went.

I was on a island (or playground. I can't remember.) I was with a lot of famous people and we were playing Survivor. It ends up that my partner was Lori Beth Denberg form the old Nickelodion show, All That. The First challenge was throwing dead chickens at each other. Everyone wanted to quit, so the "producers" decided that we would film a new episode of All That. They gave Lori Beth and I a horrible script, so I tried to convince the "producers" to let her do "Vital Information for Your Everyday Life." Just before they said yes, I woke up.

Yes, a very weird dream. I still don't get it. It was 11:00am when I woke up. Yes, a very late start. I took a shower and Father and I went to visit Fawn. We talked for a bit. We then went to pick up Wado and Tom-Tom for breakfast. Guess where we went. The Townhouse. I am so sick of that house, but I am not sick of Auntie Cindy telling me stories. Auntie Cindy wanted me to go with her after breakfast to her house to get some Harley Davidson of Manitou Springs shirts for random people in the restaurant. You see, Auntie Cindy and Rick owned a Harley Davidson shop for, oh about, one year. Rick always claimed it was "his store" even though the only one who was ever there was Auntie Cindy. Seriously, all she would do is read books and slowly go insane from the boredom because it never was a popular store. When they closed down, Auntie Cindy and Rick were stuck with all of the leftover shirts... All 476 of them. Whenever somebody wants one, Auntie Cindy give them a shirt. We were at her house getting a few shirts when this broke out:

Me: So, Auntie Cindy, do you still hate Harley?
Auntie Cindy: Hell yes. It is at the top of my list of hate. Well, I hate Rick the most, so Harley will have to settle for second.
Me: Speaking of Rick, how did you resolve your differences on Christmas Eve?
Auntie Cindy: Well, he came sobbing into the bedroom and was all like, "I don't know why I love you so much!" I told him that I didn't know either, but a likely explanation would be that I am the only one who would ever talk to him or have sex with him. Seriously, who would want to screw that? Alright, I have the t-shirts. Let's go!

We gave them the t-shirts and Father and I took off. I sat at Wado & Tanya's for roughly three hours while Father, Wado, and Tom-Tom set up for their gig tonight. While they were gone, I was chatting with Kellinka, Seamstress, and Sockittoya online. I got off (well, actually, I got booted off), and called LC. We talked for a while. I then watched TV, and was taken over to Tay-Tay's house, where I am now.

I do believe that I have drained my mind of my most inner thoughts. Talk to you later.

Oh, by the way... HAPPY NEW YEAR!! GOOD-BYE 2004!! WELCOME 2005!! Seriously, 2004 was a great year.

- I met all of my new friends.
- I came to Colorado three times.
- I had a new "girlfriend". Hello, Kellinka.
- I met Madame. God, am I lucky...
- I named LC and Tay-Tay's band "OLC."
- I got and am learning how to play guitar.
- I didn't throw up.
- I got my dearest Poddington.
- I got a new computer.
- I am just happy to be me.

Thursday, December 30, 2004

An absolutely boring day. Serious, just skip this entry. It will bore you to tears. Not even joking.

Salut! I am still in Colorado if you wanted to know. I leave on Sunday, though. Then back to Madame's French class. Oh, God, how I am looking forward to that. Serious, Madame is cool... In a "foreign" kind of way. If it seems like I am dragging, I am. I have nothing to write about today. Sorry. If I come up with something, I'll edit.

A quick recap of things you need to know.

Okay. I know I already posted today, but I felt the need to inform you of a few things. Here is the list:

~ Katie will no longer be refered to as "Katie." She will now be known as Lemming Chick or LC for short. She wanted very badly to have, and I quote, "a retarded alias like everybody else."

~ Because I am at Tay-Tay's house at the moment, I have taken it upon myself to be obsessed with his Atari game system that includes Pong. I believe, up to this point, I have played it about sixteen times. No, I have never won, but I am determined. I'll never quit. I have been called overly obsessed with Pong by my current peers. It is true, sadly.

~ OLC (LC and Tay-Tay's band) has preformed a few (three) songs for us right here in Tay-Tay's basement. They had to wrap it up, though, because a new neighbor to them was trying to sleep. All of the adults were complaining about the complaint. Oh, I made a funny. According to Marsha (Tay-Tay's mom), the man was fairly old and had a white beard and a purple vest. From what I heard, the man was trying to sleep. Okay, answer me this, who in the hell sleeps in a purple vest? Oh, wait, I do. Just kidding. But, really, who does?

~ LC's iPod is now named Poddikon. She decided this because she heard that my iPod had a name, so she didn't want to feel left out. The fact of the matter is, is that I only named mine Poddington because Kellinka had a name for her's. The iPod box said nothing about a vicious naming circle. Whatever.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

I'll set a bullet next to your pillow "later."

Today was one of the more boring days during this vacation. I woke up at my normal time (Whew!) After I took my shower, I realized that I had nothing to do tonight. I made a quick decision, and called Roberto to see if he wanted to spend the night. He said yes, but he could only come over "later." What in sam hell is "later?" Everyone uses it all of the time, but what does it really mean? God. I have strayed away from the point. Anyway. Because Roberto couldn't come over until "later," I called Uncle Wado to see if he wanted to spend the day with me. He came to pick me up fifteen minutes later to go to the mall. I love how he just assumes that I live in the mall, seeing how he told me the only reason we were going is because he knew I wanted to. Yeah right. I have to admit, though, it was fun for the most part. Seeing a forty-two year old man walk into Hot Topic is a classic moment in history.

After the mall, we went to eat at the Townhouse. There, we saw Auntie Cindy. Before I tell you the next part, you need to know that Auntie Cindy and her third husband, Rick, don't get along, well... At all. This Christmas Eve, they chased the grandkids, father, and myself out of their house after screaming "DIVORCE!" at each other. I was curious enough to see them in the Townhouse together tonight, so I started this conversation:

Me: So, Auntie Cindy, how was the rest of your Christmas? (Sarcastically) With Rick, it couldn't have been bad.
Auntie Cindy: Oh. Haha. I hate him but whenever I threaten him with divorce, he cries.
Me: Wow. That was harsh. Anyway, how was the rest of your Christmas Eve?
Auntie Cindy: Well, after you guys left, I was hoping to catch the house on fire. I found a bottle of nail polish remover and spilled it all over the bathroom. I then realized that the bathroom was all tile, and it wouldn't catch fire easy. I then looked for some kerosene to spill on the carpet in the living room, but I couldn't find any, so I just gave up and passed out.
Me: Wow. Auntie Cindy, You are insane.
Auntie Cindy: No, no, no. The best part is yet to come. When I woke up the next morning, I found a bullet next to my head on my pillow. I think he was going to shoot me, yet he claims it just "fell out of his pocket."
Me: Are you serious?
Auntie Cindy: Yes. And I looked close on the bullet and saw the letters C-I-N-D-Y.
Me: You saw your name on the bullet?!?
Auntie Cindy: No, but everything else is true.

Yes. Yes. That is my insane family.

When I got home, I called Roberto, but he could no longer sleep over. I didn't bother to ask why because if I did, he would go on forever. I hate talking on the phone. So, now all this leave me on the computer typing my thoughts on an online journal. God, I need a life.

P.S.
RE: Kellinka and Seamstress
The reason I didn't mention you guys is because I am still steaming mad at both of you. I will accept chocolate and kitties as an apology.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Calamari, same clothes, iPod dock, and an NDA alumni all in one day.

I have had an incredibly bizarre day. Serious, it is like I am tripping on shrooms but without the shrooms. If you didn't get that, ask a straightedger to help you out. Here is how the day went down:

1) I got up about two hours later than normal. 11:00am. The odd thing is, is that I woke up with the urge to eat calamari (deep fried squid.) It is very delicious and I need my fix.

2) When I took my shower, I must have been in a daze or something because, without realizing it, I put on the same exact clothes I wore yesterday. I felt a little gross, but then I realized what I had done and I changed in a hurry.

3) At around noon, Father an I went to visit Grandma and Grandpa. When we got there I kept thinking it was May and wondering why their Christmas tree was still up. It must have been the warm weather and the melting snow that made me think this.

4) When we got back home, I wanted to call the local Media Play to see if they had a computer dock for Poddington. They had one left and I had them reserve it for me. About fifteen minutes after that, I had a mood swing and didn't want to go buy it at all. I didn't, but right about now I wish I would have.

5) Father and I, as a back-up plan for not going to Media Play, decided to have lunch/supper at the Townhouse. While we were there, I met this lady named Paula Hein who is from De Pere. We talked about Wisconsin life, and her high school days came up. It turns out that she graduated from NDA in 1991. Okay. At this moment, I am a little weirded out. She asked about some teachers and if they were still there.

Paula: So, do you have Father Gilsdorf?
Me: No, but he is still there. Most of my friends have him in English class.
Paula in a mildly sad voice: Awww. I miss Father G.

Anyway, she gave me her name and told me a huge story about how her brother and father did the brickwork on the new Lambeau Field. She seemed pretty nice, and she still had that annoying Wisconsin accent.

That was my day. Not the most normal or the most outrageously crazy. This is my life and because of it, I am still convinced that the world thinks I am a "retard silly man."

Monday, December 27, 2004

A forgotten few.

Omigod! Omigod! OMIGOD! I am SO sorry to mention that I missed Sockittoya and Anna Valeska! They are some at the top of my list! I love you both!

The computer that hates Katie.

Hello again my blog and/or blog readers. Yes, I am in a good mood. I just got back from Katie's, and my iPod, which I now call Podington, now has 120 songs on its playlist. At the moment I am listening to "Another Postcard" by the Barenaked Ladies. It is great. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, I'm lovin' it. Hehe, get it? McDonalds. God, I really am a retard silly man. Anyway, I'm happy.

Today, like I thought I would, I got a chance to scare Katie's band mates. I tried, believe me. I guess Katie told them about what I was really doing, though. Remember when I told you about the Jibberish that I directed toward them as a supposed "spell?" Katie told them that it wasn't a spell and that is was just some random Japanese. Now that they know that, they are no more afraid of me. Dammit. Well, it was fun while it lasted. It really was.

Sledding was quite fun. I was obsessed with the Snow Blade (a sled with a seat and a single blade.) I think I went down the hill about ten times at first falling every time. After that, though, I had it mastered. Yes, I was the snow king. God, I am conceded. I finally got my father to go down. He wiped out and biffed it pretty bad. I laughed my ass off... After imagining what Madame would look like sledding and falling. It would be the eighth wonder of the world.

We (Katie and I) then went inside to get some iPod songs. Like I said before, I got 120 beautiful tunes. Right now I am listening to "Breed" by Nirvana. While we were loading songs, Katie convinced herself that her new computer hates her.

Katie: God! Either the computer hates me or Jimmy Fallon. I am pretty sure it's me, though, because when I ever I go by it, it freezes!
Me: Yes, you are right. Go away before you jinx it again.
Katie: Fine! I'm going to go get myself a marshmallow!

It turns out it was the Jimmy Fallon CD and that Katie was not bad luck after all. It was fun making her mad, though.

I called Kellinka this morning. I needed some "friend time", but because I am three states away, I doubt that it is going to happen. I figured that the next best thing would be to call some people. Kellinka was the only one home... Or the only one who would pick up after seeing my name on the caller ID. Whatever. We talked for an hour and forty-five seconds. Yes. We kept track.

Now I'm off to read Mrwilcoxiamdemented.blogspot.com. Talk to you later.

Me: David is so cool.
Tay-Tay: Hey, you know that all of the Weimers (Katie, Tay-Tay, and David's last name) are cool.
Katie: Nope, not me. I'm gay.

Three states away, and wanting to see my friends more than ever.

Wow. Five days is a long ass time to be without a new post. Yes. As you may have heard on Kellinka's blog, I am in Colorado visiting my father. I swear to God, this side of my family is highly, completely, and positively insane and dysfunctional. Oh, God. I sounded like I was a munchkin from Munchkinland just now. Cool. Madame and Kellinka would have loved that but, unfortunately for them, I am three states away. I am really missing NDA life. Can you tell? I miss Madame, Kellinka, Seamstress, Chelk, Supermodel, Pam, Daf, Abby, Candy, Nate, QB, and Cow so much you can't even believe. Well, I only added QB and Cow to the list because without them, I have no one else to make semi-evil remarks about. Seriously, I need some "Friend Time."

Christmas was an okay time of year this time around. I got my very own iPod. Yes, yes. I am in love. Now I can download my own Russian version of "Barbie Girl" for listening pleasure. I also got the first three seasons of Seinfeld on DVD. I swear, that show is among the best ever aired. I got a 35mm. camera that is off the hook (no , I am not a wigger.) Now I can take embarrassing photos of Madame for later blackmail. Hehe. I can't wait. I also got numerous Hot Topic gift cards. Three to be exact. And no, Madame, I am not a little goth boy. Santa treated me well this year. I can't complain.

Tomorrow I am going sledding at Katie's. I should be loads of fun. I haven't been sledding in a grand total of two years. I need my fix. The thing is, is that it is a sledding party. That means that I will not be the only one there. All of Katie's band mates will be among the snowy fun. Ughh. They are some of the only people that really bug me. The others being QB, Cow, and an occasional FB. The band mates, along with Madame, think I am a freaky "goth boy." I found this out at the end of last summer. Katie told me that they were afraid of me, so I decided to have some fun. I started mouthing jibberish toward them along with an evil stare. Darren, the guitar player, was freaked out and started to cry. It was f**king hilarious. I can't wait to do it again in about 12 hours.

I don't really have much to say at the moment, but that I am really longing to see my friends. Even at this very moment, I am waiting for Kellinka to log on so we can IM. No such luck.

Talk to you soon.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

A snotty mess of tissues.

Madame is insane. I rest my case, Madame insane. Today in French, numerous things happened worth telling. First, right before class started, Madame scooted us all into the hall so she could have a "private conversation" with Mr. Bloomie. Yes, private. I hope he sees that wedding ring on her finger. But, seriously, they were probably just talking about another fundraiser. During all of the scooting hubbub, I was listening to that song "Barbie Girl" by AQUA in Russian. It was mildly entertaining. When Madame said we could come back in, we had to let her read our dialogue/tests. A few bad things went wrong in that department:
-Chelk wasn't there, so our dialogue made NO scence.
-Dan translated word for word, so none of the adjectives were right. In a result of this, our paper was thoroughly covered in red.
-We missed the start of the Secret Santa Swap.

Speaking of the Secret Santa Swap, Chelk wasn't there, so I didn't have a person to give a present to. I got her a cool thing, too! I guess she will have to wait until January to get it. Kellinka gave me an unexpected present. It was a book all about dirty words you can say in French. I thought it was highly amusing, so Kellinka and I decided top show it to Madame. She made the funniest faces while reading it. It seemed as if her eyes were sucking on a lemon. Yes. Very funny. Kellinka and I got very bored after that, so we decided to decorate Madame's poster board with tissues and funny phrases.

Kellinka acknowledging my handwriting on the poster: Awwww! Your handwriting is very cute!
Me: Thanks. Let's staple tissues to it!
Kellinka: And I'll color them yellow! It will look like snow that was peed on!
(We do so.)
Me: Wow, great job, Kellinka. They look like snotty, booger tissues.
Madame: (Rushes over) Pencil Case! You are sick! Get this snotty mess outta here!

Once again, all of the blame is pushed onto me. Damn that Kellinka. I then got my real Secret Santa present from Dan... A GREEN DAY CD!

At lunch, I went with some friends to Mr. N's office to talk. We ate a large pizza that some VERY NICE Juniors gave to us. We love you Juniors!

In Theology, Becky, Alissa, Supermodel, and I presented our skit.

Supermodel (in skit): Last year God failed me. My house burned down with my dog in it and I could hear him barking, but I couldn't save him. I felt so bad.

Like the cruel beings we are... We all laughed at that line.

Toward the end of the school day, Madame tracked me down to give more extra credit. This, I think, is the fifth song she has asked me to download in a two day radius. I better get to it. Also, in Madame news, she (yet again) told me how famous and popular I am for being in the musical.

Madame: Pencil Case, you are popular. Here, let's ask Paul. Paul knows it all. (Talks to Paul) See? You are popular.

As I was leaving, I said my Holiday Break goodbyes to Pam.

In the bus, the driver was mad.

Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver: I. Am. So. Freaking. Mad. Some kid from a different high school threw a big wad of gum in my hair.
Me: Is it out?
CLLBD: Well, yeah!

When I got home, I was extremely tired. I don't know whay though. I layed on my couch to watch I Love The 70s. Very boring, considering I have seen them about a thousand times.




Monday, December 20, 2004

This blog is filled with lies.

What's up with all of you blog readers up in nosey-land? Haha. You all suck. Just kidding.

Here I am once again in Study Hall typing away. Today hasn't been much fun so far... Well... Actually it was a little. French was insane in the membrane yet again.

Madame (reading my blog): Pencil Case, you lie a lot on your blog.
Me: Madame, what are you talking about? Everything on there is true.
Madame: No, it isn't. You said that I said that you can put pet mice on this little pillow. What was really said was that because my head is too big for the pillow, in general, mice can sleep on it. It is two very different things.
Kellinka: (Nods in agreement) She is right, Pencil Case.

I really can't tell the difference, but whatever. In Theology I am pretty sure I failed the long anticipated test. The Frater was happier today, though. That is a good thing.

Brownie's class was different. We first handed in our test/assignment. After that she gave us a pop quiz on the book we had just read. Umm, yeah. Pretty sure I failed that too. We then worked on this worksheet that was very weird. There was about ten questions like "War is caused by..." And "Children are likely to do this than adults." You get the idea. It was very challenging.

After lunch, I ran into Madame and told her that no poperazzis have been hiding around corners and snapping photos of me. She was very adamant that all of this would take place after the musical. She then said this:

Madame: Pencil Case, your wife is looking for you. She came into my room and was like, (very falsetto voice) "Where is Pencil Case? I need to see him!" I swear, that is what she said! And get this, she had green and red bows in her hair.

Madame is strange. Very strange. She is still fascinated that Kellinka and I write so much about her on our blogs. We were seriously considering making her a list of all of the reasons. We should.

Me: Madame, when you told the clam story, you used the word "escargot." I thought escargot was a snail.
Madame: Oh. It is. I made a mistake. (Under her breath) Escargot. How stupid of me to say it was a clam. Haha.


Saturday, December 18, 2004

It isn't Lent!

Wow. This weekend is very and completely dull and boring. Seriously, nothing is exciting.

Last night I went to Farr's Grove with Mother to see her long lost friends. Yes. They are very, how do I put this? Oh, yes, psycho. Shelley told me that, against my mother's will, she would pay for me to die my hair black. Mother was appalled, but later agreed to it as a "good idea." We also ate there. Mother and all of her friends had a very disgusting... er... I mean, appetizing cod plate. I, on the other hand, had an order of cheese curds. Yummy. I tried to explain to them that it wasn't Lent, and that they didn't have to eat fish on Fridays. Instead of listening, they tried to pawn it off their leftovers onto me.

This morning, Mother woke me up rather early for a weekend. 8:20am. We went to the mall to wrap up our Christmas shopping. Hehe. "Wrap up." Get it? I got both of my Secret Santa gifts. One for French class, and one for the lunch table. They are quite good if you ask me.

Now that Michelle (yes, he is a boy) has arrived for the night, I might as well wrap it up. Omigod. I love that saying. Have a good night.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Supermodel loves to swing her bra around.

Once again, I am in a very long and dragging study hall period spent typing in the library. Do you want to hear about my day so far? I'll give you five seconds.

>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>>>

>>>>>

>>>>

If you said no, than too bad! I'm going to tell you anyway!

French class was a little funner, and I say "funner" just to irritate Kellinka, than normal. In the beginning of class, Chelk showed me Fall Fest pictures of her and James. They are the HOTTEST couple alive. Haha. Anyway, mixed in with the photos of dancing and love, there happened to be a close up of Supermodel. I asked Chelk if I could have it and she gave it to me. I then showed a very amused Kayleigh.

Kayleigh: Haha! That is great! I need one of those to put on my locker with a caption underneath it saying, "I'm out to get you!" Speaking of Supermodel, did you ever tell Chelk about the pushing incident?
Chelk: Yes. He tells us about it, at least, five-thousand times a week.
Kayleigh: You should have been there. It was hilarious!

I was rather hilarious, actually. Just remembering Supermodel's face after she got pushed still makes me giggle.

Kayleigh: When we were backstage during Captain Applejack, she would, like, dance in front of the mirror and think that no one was watching her, but Pencil Case and I were cracking up! And sometimes she would change her bra in front of everyone and just swing it around. Pencil Case was in there once, even. He, if he wanted, could see everything from the reflection of the mirror.

We went on to discuss the fact that Laura was too nice to say anything about Kayleigh's Captain Applejack greasy hair. The discussion was very hilarious.

During the first couple minutes of Theology, I came to the realization that Frater lied to us by telling us there would be a test today. It turs out that all he wanted us to do was study. Imagine that.

At lunch I, along with Kellinka, went to bother... Er... I mean vist Madame yet once again. When we walked into her room, she was with a student reading dialogues in French. Kellinka and I had no idea what she was saying, but it seemed as if the student understood it perfect. Madame made it clear for us in good, ol' English.

Madame: Well, you see, this is a story about two escargot... You know, clams. The two clams are wrapped in crepes (pancakes), and they go to visit a dead leaf's funeral. It is quite funny, actually. (Does miscellaneous clicks on the computer) Oh! Look! A story about a melon! Let's read about the melon!

PE was moderately fun for the main fact that I kept messing up Supermodel's hair.

During the end of the day, though, Abby had me worried. Not telling why, so don't ask.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

How to make a frog snooze.

Today had a rather boring start to it. I just lied, French class was pretty fun for the most part.

Madame: (fondling a miniature pillow)
Kelsey: Um... What is that?
Madame: It's a little pillow. Its great! Look, you can sleep on it or put your pet mice on it to sleep. Its quite handy.
Me: Mice, Madame?
Madame: Yes. And speaking of frogs, who here has ever put a frog to sleep?
The Class: (miscellaneous "what is she talking about"'s and "she is crazy"'s.)
Madame: You mean to tell me that none of you have ever put a frog to sleep? You are missing out! All you do is scratch its belly until it starts to snooze!

Yeah. That gave a few giggles. Nothing much happened the rest of the day until World History.

Shivvametimbas: Was Julius Caesar named after the Caesar salad?
Brazeau: No, Shivvametimbas. The salad was named after him.

I then went on to write in MacKenzie's assignment notebook about how she is a Jew and how she is not allowed to like Christmas... Which she most certainly is not.

P.E. was an alright class today. I got to see Supermodel make HILARIOUS faces when I made her chase the lacrosse ball. Quite funny.

At the end of the day, I got the opportunity to scare Madame. I took it. Kellinka told me that she made a very amusing face of fear when I did it. Unfortunately, I was in such a hurry, I didn't see it. This is my explanation for it, though:

Maybe some old lady tried to help her and give her cookies, but a young Madame thought otherwise and thought the lady was trying to bake her into a mincemeat pie! Maybe when I scared her, I awoke a long lost and hidden fear of her being baked into a pie! Maybe.

When I get home, I came to realize that my power was out. It then came on just as I was lighting a candle. I then went on the computer ony to find out a secret about Kellinka that I will not share.

Well, now I'm off to go Christmas Caroling with Daf and NaNa. Talk to you tomorrow!



Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Four scoops of mashed potatoes and missing roast.

Today has been very interesting so far. French class was pretty much the root of it all.

Madame: Pencil Case, what is the address for your blog?
Me: WWW.ChakaLakahLakah.blogspot.com.
Madame: Okay. That's nice. Tell it to me again later. You know, Kellinka and I sat her all by our selves yesterday after school, and read her blog from top to bottom.
Me: You know, I wrote about you in mine yesterday.
Madame: That's great, Pencil Case. Can't all of you think of a better topic than me to write about? And while we are on the subject, what is the big deal about blogs, anyway?

Yes. I have come to the final conclusion that she is insane and thinks way too hard about things... You know I am just kidding, Madame, right? French was pretty normal after that, except for the fact that Madame divulged to us that there is going to be a pop quiz/test tomorrow on the irregular verbs. I need to study.

Theology was better today. The Frater wasn't as mad/sad, however, we did have to take a survey about drugs, sex, alcohol, tobacco, etc... Omigod. So boring, stupid, pointless, etc... The fun part was when The Frater told us that he gets drunk and has laughing attacks when he only a half of a glass of wine.

Let's skip English (very boring), and go to World History. WH was boring as well, but MacKenzie told me that on the "Who Are You?" portion of the survey, she put that she was a black male who was 6'9" and weighed 229 lbs. I found this highly amusing.

Lunch was fairly normal. When I first got there, though, Cow was standing at my table giving the evil eye to a group of junior boys who decided to occupy hers. She left and I sat down. We all ate our lunch, then I saw Madame. I went up to her to say hi and I eavesdropped onto this conversation:

Madame: (Holding a very large orange bowl filled to the brim with mashed potatoes and gravy) How much is this going to cost?
Lunch Lady: Well, how many scoops did you get.
Madame: Four... And they all look delicious. Oh, hi Pencil Case!

I run over to Kellinka, who is typing in the library with seamstress, after the thought that she needs to hear this juicy gossip, and tell her that we need to chat with Madame. She agrees. Before we leave the library, I snatch a pass. We then run upstairs to see if Madame is in her room. She isn't. Kellinka decides we need to go back downstairs before we get caught by Frau. Please keep in mind that Kellinka is still very much afraid of Frau. We come to figure that we only have about seven minutes left in the period, so our last stop would be the music room. I just needed to get the times straight for tonight, but Kellinka had a very nervous/eerie look to her face. I'm guessing that she either contracted West Nile Virus suddenly, or is afraid of Mrs. Schmidt. As we are leaving to go back to the cafeteria, I had the idea that Madame must be in the lounge. I tell Kellinka that we need to spy. She says no... Until I convince her that if we get caught, I would be willing to eat my own head. Now she agrees. I peek my head in the door and whisper-shout (you know what I mean), "Madame!" Madame comes out of the lounge.

Madame: Hello Pencil Case. Kellinka. What do you want?
Me: What was with all of the mashed potatoes?
Madame: Well, you see, I had made a roast for my coligues in the foreign language department, like Frau, and myself for today's lunch. Well, when I looked in the fridge this morning, I came to realize that my husband's friend came over the night before, said "What's for dinner?", and ate about half of my roast and most of the salad. I had to buy the mashed potatoes for a little side dish.
Kellinka: Why didn't you just kick him out? Our family kicks out people all of the time.
Madame: Well, he is like family I guess. Actually... (She goes into a huge raging ramble about how her husband is his best friends uncle. This involves much "hand talk")... And that is why my husband is his best friend's uncle.
Kellinka and I: Wow.

Madame stops this discussion and wonders about our fascination with her. She soon drops that one, too. The conversation then goes into a spin about how the NDA musical is a huge deal and that people come from all over... Even Appleton... To see our productions. We also talked about my status as a freshman in the musical.

Madame: You know, Pencil Case, you are very blessed that you got into the musical.
Me: I never said I wasn't.
Madame: I know, but look, there are seniors that go to this school that would have loved your part. Seniors that joined choir and took voice lessons for four years that would have loved to be in the musical at all. Even this morning some kids came into my room and said, "Do you know a Pencil Case ?" I said, "Sure, he is in my freshman class." Then they said, "Okay, we won't pick on him then." Pencil Case, you need to realize that if you think that kids are talking behind your back in envy... They more than likely are.
Me (sarcastically): Come on, I'm sure the whole school knows who I am.
Madame: Pencil Case, they do.
Kellinka to Madame: I bet that if Pencil Case was here two years ago, everyone would know him!
Madame: Everyone already does know him.

I then quickly changed the subject to talking about how I am going to be a famous actor, Kellinka will be a famous writer, and Madame will be famous for having in her possession, a dead pet giraffe. After that we go our separate ways to finish out the day.

After school, I went to say hi to Madame and tell her my blog address once again. Because of this, I was late for the bus and had to flag it down.

Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver: Next time I am just going without you! I was here and you should have been too! I have no pity for you. None. The sad part is that I was late today.

Yes. A very insane day.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Cow = La Linley.

Hello all of you nosey blog readers.

Okay. Today was an alright day so far (I want you to keep in mind that right now I am in my fifth hour study hall.) Most of the excitement was in French, though. This is how it went:

Sockittoya: Oh! Madame! Can I read the announcements?
Madame: Sure, Sockittoya.
Sockittoya: Yay!
Me: No! I mean, can't we share the announcements? Look. You can stop once in a while and when you do, I'll read a word then you can keep going!
Sockittoya: No. I want to read the announcements... Alone!
Me: Fine, then. We'll just have to see what Madame thinks about all of this nonsense. Madame, can I read the announcements, too?
Madame: Pencil Case, skedaddle.

I go sit down and painfully listen to Sockittoya read MY announcements. We then write some random grammar in our binders. Once that is finished, we play a review game.

Madame: (Holds up a picture of what appears to be a chicken or a turkey.) Let's say this is a chicken. Who should I call on... Paul!

Minimal laughter erupts for the mere fact that "poulet"(which sounds very much like the word paul) in French means chicken.

Paul: Poulet, Madame. (Big smile.)

The review game was much help, but I got some laughs, too.

Madame: (Holds up a picture of a cow.) Who can tell me what this is in French? (Sees my flailing hand.) Yes, Pencil Case.
Me: La Linley?
Madame: Nice try, Pencil Case, but no.

If you know me, you will get the joke. Also today in French class, Kellinka brought some very attractive, but very gross, PBJ sandwiches... Minus the J. You see, Madame promised that if we could translate "peanut butter and jelly sandwich" by this morning, we could bring some into class to eat. Kellinka figured it out, but couln't pronounce it, so I did. She shared her very disgusting French bread PB sandwiches with me... They were soon thrown out. Madame, during class, got a phone call and rushed out of the room in a panic. On her way out, she tripped over Kellinka and called her "weird." As soon as she left, Castonia stepped in her place.

Castonia: Ola!
Seamstress: You spoke of the Espangola! This is Francais!
Castonia: Oh. Sorry. Oui, Oui! I have to pee!

I leave French class to go to Theology. Nothing much happened in this class but this conversation after we wouldn't quit talking:

Frater: I'm sorry, but I'm not going to teach a class that isn't willing to learn. For those select few that want to... Tough luck.
ChatterBox: Frater! That isn't fair! I want to learn! I don't want to fail my test on Friday!
Frater: (Almost to the point of tears) You want to talk to me about fair?!? I've stood up here from the beginning of the year until now only to be disrespected and ridiculed! The first day of school you all realized that I am not a good police officer, and I can't enforce discipline well! You all take advantage of me! I hate it!
ChatterBox: Well, I'm sorry if you don't know how to control your own class!
Frater: You know what? I don't care if you fail the test.

Yes, yes. Great times...

Nothing much else happened today except for the fact that Brownie mistook Josh for Abby, and the table that Brooker jumped on during the infamous fight is now gone.



Monday, December 13, 2004

"I just love to soak my head in urine."-NaNa.

Well hello again.

Today was not very fun filled, nor was yesterday, but Saturday night on the other hand was an alright night. I know I posted on Saturday, but this happened after... Oh, God. I'm confusing you. Anyway. On Saturday night, I went to a pre-planned NaNa night with Daf. We only had one of these before, so it was pretty fun. Arik tagged along this time, though. He is hella (that is SO 2001!) funny. Here is how the night went...

I was sitting at home waiting for a call from NaNa who Daf and I were supposedly having dinner and hanging out with. We were scheduled to start at 7:30pm and it was already 8:15pm. I was getting a little doubtful because Daf still wasn't home from Map's and NaNa still didn't call. I was watching (yet again) My Coolest Years when NaNa called. She said that she had a migraine headache this morning and she still hadn't taken a shower. After she took her shower, she called me back and said that she was picking up Daf and coming to get me. Also, she said that Arik was coming with us.

As we were on our way to get Arik, NaNa couldn't stop talking about how her shirt smelled of dog pee.

NaNa: Omigod, you guys! My shirt smells like puppy pee!
Daf: Then why did you wear it?
NaNa: How was I supposed to know? It is my sister's!
Me: Then why does your sister's shirt smell like dog pee?
NaNa: Maybe she is one of those hippies and she lets her pets pee all over the place!

We got to Arik's house and as soon as he got in the car, he had to comment on the urine smell.

Arik: Holy Jesus! What in the hell smells like pee?
NaNa: (Instantly and fast) My shirt.
Arik: Good God. Is your sister a hippie?

We all laugh at a confused Arik.

NaNa notices a sports bra in the front seat where Arik is sitting.

NaNa: Ahhhh! (Throws bra in trunk) Don't think you want to see that!
Arik: Back to the subject of pee! Good thing it is your shirt and not your skin! For a minute there, I was starting to think that you were into some new kind of aroma therapy.
NaNa: Yes Arik. I just love to soak my head in urine.
Arik: Hey, it might be the only way to get rid of the common cold.
NaNa: (Totally ignoring Arik and continuing her last thought) And after my head is done, I will rub it all over my arms.

After the four mile ride from Arik's to NaNa's, NaNa says:

NaNa: Hey! We are here already? Wow! Arik and I could be neighbors!

We go inside, cook and eat our store bought lasagna, and sit down to a game of Baulderdash. During the game, NaNa brought some poppyseed bread from the kitchen to us. We all ate it, and were highly satisfied.

Arik: Why is this the best thing that has ever been in my mouth?
Daf: I know, right!

Arik and NaNa went into the kitchen while Daf and I were left in the living room to hang with the five dogs. Daf had Brutis, a wiener dog, on her lap while this conversation broke out.

Me: My favorite is Tasha! She is so cute!
Daf: That is mean, Pencil Case, I don't have favorites! ( She says this next line with three of the five dogs by her and one by me) Except that one. (Points to the one all alone on the floor) He's ugly.

I instantly burst into laughter and then tell NaNa what has just been said about one of her dogs. She doesn't find it as funny. You kind of had to be there.

We play one more game of Baulderdash then a game of Catch Phrase (in which Daf can't get the word "Abra Kadabra") before NaNa takes us to the chruch to drop some stuff off and then to home. While at church at 1:30am, we turned off all of the lights, and lied on the alter to "watch the stars"... Which were really red dot lights on the ceiling resembling security cameras.

NaNa took us home marking the end of one of the funniest nights of my life.




Saturday, December 11, 2004

All Anna wanted to do was play.

Hello again.

The most insane thing happened last night. Let's just say it involves an Ouija Board, Daf, Me, Becky, Lee-hah, and one pissed off spirit. It all started as I was sitting home alone, bored to tears, and wanting to do something. Hell, it was Saturday night and I am fifteen. It's like a written rule that you have to do something fun in that situation. I called Kerrie in hopes of her being free, but no such luck. I then proceeded to watch a Vh1 marathon of My Coolest Years, which featured segments on Metalheads, Jocks, and Gays... Yes, so far a very fun night. Anyway, back to the story. My cousin, Lee-hah, called me around 9:30 - 10:00 and asked if I wanted to go to Daf's house to play a board game. I immediately said yes, and got dressed. I realized that I had no ride home for after the game, so I scooped up my glasses, contact case, and PJs. Sara and Lee-hah then pulled into my driveway and off we went to Daf's... Which is only, like, five blocks away.

Lee-hah (to me on devouring her Doritos in the car): God, kid, are you a little hungry?
Me (with my mouth stuffed to the brim): Yes. I didn't eat supper. I was too busy watching TV.

We arrived at Daf's house, and the first thing we notice is that all of the lights are shut off and there are many candles lit. Now, you see, this it the perfect setting for the game we were about to play (AtmosFEAR). Throughout course of the game, the DVD gatekeeper kept calling Daf ugly and kept making fun of her.

DVD Gatekeeper (to Daf): You are very ugly. When you were born, you must have broke the mold... Oh, wait... It looks as if the mold was already broken! Ha ha ha ha! Maggots!
Daf: I knew it. Everytime I play this game, he always picks on me. No one else. Me.

The game was, like, five minutes from being over when Becky came. The game was terminated because we weren't about to play infront of her. That is just plain mean. We were going to start over, but Daf brought up the suggestion that we play with the Ouija Board. Lee-hah is deathly afraid of this stuff, but agrees anyway. We get it out. We play for a bit and it magically pops out answers to our questions. During the game, Lee-hah's cell phone rings and she answers it. The Ouija pointer immediately goes to "NO." Lee-hah ignores this and keeps talking. We finally tell her to hang it up and respect the board. She does.

Daf: Are you annoyed with us, Ouija?
Ouija (spells out): Pencil Case.
Daf: You are annoyed with Pencil Case?
Ouija (spells out): No. Lee-hah f**ked up my one chance to be alive.
Lee-hah: Ahhhh! I'm not playing anymore!
Becky: Me neither.

Becky and Lee-hah try to ignore that Daf and I are still playing, so they take out their phones and sound off many rings and beeps. Daf then asks if it has anything else to say to us. It points to "YES." It then tells us that at 12:09 tonight Lee-hah will suffer. Omigod. This is getting spooky! Becky and Lee-hah hear this and decide to walk the two minute walk to Becky's to go online. Once they leave, Daf and I continue. After a few self-explanatory questions, it tells us to take a three minute break. We do as it says, and watch MTV. Now, this is where my memory gets fuzzy. Read on to find out why.
After the three minute break, we continue to play.

Ouija (spells out): Give me two aura balls.
Daf: Why?
Ouija (spells out): I need them to run.
Daf: Where is he going to run to?
Me: What he means is that he need them to operate. You know, to work.
Daf: Pencil Case, I don't know about this. He wants our essence.
Me: Do it for me, Daf. Do it for me! I need to know what happens to Lee-hah! Do it for me!
Daf: Alright. I'll do it for you.

We then make our aura balls and I explain to Daf how to put them down on the table. We continue to play for about forty-five seconds. It was then when I blacked out. I fell backwards and hit the couch. Daf runs over to me and starts saying my name in a loud tone. I wake up and realize that I am not by the TV. Yes. That is right. The last thing I had remembered was watching MTV during the three minute break... That was supposedly twenty minutes ago. Okay, now I am freaked out. Daf explains what had happened and that she realized I had been "possessed." We decide that we need to get out of the house, so we run to Becky's. Lee-hah and Becky are on the computer and Daf explained to them what had happened. They don't even want to hear it. Becky says that we can't finish in her house, so we do it outside on her porch. We got cold fast so we went back to Daf's. We were scared s**tless.

As we continue to play, it says it need to tell us one more thing.

Ouija (spells out): You need to know one more thing. Evil spirits lurk in the room marked by Daf.
Me: Daf! There is evil spirits in your room!
Daf: We need to leave!

We grab the Ouija board and run out of the house and start to run towards Becky's. Once again, my mind gets fuzzy. About half way there, I guess I stop and I say to Daf:

Me: You know her name was Anna.
Daf: Shut the f**k up, Pencil Case!
Me: All she wanted to do was play.
Daf: I swear to f**king God, Pencil Case. If you don't stop, I'm going to kick your a**.

Daf punches my arm and I get back to normal. We start to cry, and run faster than ever towards Becky's. We tell Lee-hah it is time to go home and that Daf is sleeping over. As we leave Becky's, we throw the board and pointer into the road. On the way to Lee-hah's house, we tell her everything. She hates us for it.

Lee-hah: I am really mad at you guys!
Daf: We are just trying to help!
Lee-hah: Well, now I am sleeping with my mom so no evil spirits get me!

Daf and I decide to go to my house to be safe. We get to my house and watch Big. We both swore never to speak of this incident again unless necessary. I felt the blog readers deserved to know.


Friday, December 10, 2004

It's a Bird! It's a Plain! It's SUPER BROOKER!

Wow. Today was highly adventurous, thrilling, and it kept me at the edge of my seat. It all started in French when Madame said we were going to watch the movie Home Alone to get into the "Christmas spirit". Doesn't sound too exciting, I know, but give a chance to explain. You see, for the past three FFFs, we have been watching the wonderful Disney/Pixar motion picture, Finding Nemo. This happens to be one of my favorite movies so I was naturally upset when I came to find that it will be on hold for viewing until, most likely, after the holiday season. I put up one of my whinny fits which went something like this:

Me: Seriously. We can't just start a movie and take a month break!
Seamstress: Yes we can. Home Alone is a great movie, and besides, Finding Nemo is a... How can I say this... Spring movie.
Madame: Okay, yeah, we need to classify our movies by seasons.
Me: Uggh. Fine. Whatever.
Madame: Great. Now that that is settled, Pencil Case, will you be a doll and work the remotes?

Me: No.
Chelk: That's okay. I'll help out.
Me: No! I'll do it.

We then proceeded to watch Home Alone. After about forty-five seconds, though, I forgot about the whole thing and, strangely enough, I got into the opening theme music and started to to retarded hand gestures to the beat. Apparently I also admitted that the theme music was my favorite song... Which it certainly isn't in the slightest. Also during French, we got our tests back and picked names for the Secret Santa game. Nothing exciting about those topics with the exception of my getting a 81% on the test. Believe me, that is high.

The next stop on our tour of amazing and thrilling stops of the day is in Theology. Now, this is probably one the more boring events but is deserves to be in here because our class almost made Frater cry for talking out of turn for the better part of the period. Nothing to be proud of at all, but I felt the need to tell you.

Event number three happens to be at lunch. Lunch is a time for friendly gatherings and idle chit chat... Not for tackling tables, flying principals, and teacher/student headlocks. Today at lunch was not normal. It was like we were all in the Twilight Zone.

:: Do-dee-do-dee Do-dee-do-dee Do-dee-do-dee...::

Actually, it wasn't as weird or ironic as I nor the rest of the school made it out to be. A simple fist fight. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less... Well except for Mr. Brooker showing us his super-power of flight. Here's how it all went down. Two certain seniors Jake J. & Greg H. got up during the middle of lunch and looked as if they were dancing with pink make-up all over their faces. No. Actually, it was a progressing fight with faces a bloody. They tackled each other into my dear senior friend, Celest's, table which just so happens to be right behind mine. Just when one would think that Brazoo and Lgrmn had them (almost) under control, they start up in a full force fist fight yet again. It is at this moment in time when we see Mr. Brooker getting a running start atop a long table only to fly through mid air and land on the fighters. He, along with Brazoo and Lgrmn, managed to separate the boys (that's right, boys, not men) and restrained. Lgrmn has one in a death grip when Brazoo has the other in the "handcuff" position... For all of you corrupted minds out there, I meant he held his wrists behind his back. This famous phrase was then shouted:

Jake J. (to Greg H.): Well, that's what happens when you throw bananas at me!
Greg H. (to Jake J.): Yeah, well, you're a jerk!

The fight resulted in them falling on my table trying to flee their captors and in the process, dumping sour cream or ranch dressing on my shirt. I really couldn't tell you the difference.

Kellinka, Candy, and I then went to roam the halls for the rest of our lunch to find Madame and her much talked about daughter. Kellinka got a little hyper and ran down the hall screaming. It was at this point when Frau stepped out of her room.

Frau: Hey hey hey! What is going on out here? Who is screaming and running?
Me (very fast): It was all Kellinka. She is down there and she wont quit.
Frau: Well, tell her that if she doesn't quit I will snap her like a dry twig.
Me: Okay.

Candy and I tried to explain to Kellinka what Frau had said, but she didn't believe us at first. Candy then spoke after a long awaited pause and once again told Kellinka about Frau. Kellinka finally believed us and is now afraid of Frau because she is convinced that she will "break her."

Study hall was mildly boring, but PE was not. During PE; Kellinka hit Chelk in the face, I hit Supermodel's ball toward Cow numerous times, we tried to get information out of Cow about why she is spreading so many rumors, and I found out that Corey was grounded for a month by his parents for piercing his ear with QB's very un-sterile, very un-sharp, and VERY tacky faux diamond earring in the locker room yesterday. Great times. Great times.

Now, as we come to a close on a very interesting day, let me leave you with this one message:

COME TO MY BLOG AGAIN OR I'LL SNAP YOU LIKE A DRY TWIG!

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Oink like a pig in labor.

Hello to all of you nosey blog readers who happen to stumble upon my first post. I go by Johnny Jason, Young Josh, Pencil Case, or Madame's Favorite Student. I go to Notre Dame Academy and quite frankly I love french. I was in the NDA 2004 fall play, "Captain Applejack" and I am going to be in the NDA 2005 musical, "BIG: The Musical." I despise sports of any kind, except for an occasional game of badmitten. I have only been in the emergency room once, and it was when I was four and I had to get a splinter that was three inches long removed from the ball of my foot. I love Vh1 and FUSE, but I despise the music played on MTV. I guess you could say I am stuck in the 1980s even though I only lived in them for roughly two months. I also despise preps which I am often mistaken for.

Well, now that you know who I am, please let me explain about the title of this blog entry. You all know Kellinka, am I right? Well, I convinced her that I had a secret blog and only thirty people knew about it (now, that would seem like a lot if she hadn't been so caught up in the moment.) She put up a fight in which she said, and I quote:

Kellinka: YOU'RE THE BITCH WHORE SLUTBAG! you are supposed to tell me these things! pimp, what is the link?

One thing led to another and the whole thing resulted in this conversation:

Kellinka: Pencil Case. If you don't tell me, I will find it. And if I find out, all this time, that you were just kidding and you never had a blog, I will punch you.
Me: Whatever. I would love to see you try.
Kellinka: Benjamin, I took karate for a year.
Me: Ok... I believe you... So, you really want it?
Kellinka: Yes!
Me: Let me think about it... No.
Kellinka: Shut up! Pencil Case. I will sic Madame on you if you don't tell me your blog link.
Me: Oh well...
Kellinka: PENCIL CASE. I LET YOU READ MY JOURNAL, WHERE I WRITE MY DEEP THOUGHTS.
Me: I'm just a "Bitch Whore Slutbag."
Kellinka: I take it back! I was just kidding!
Me: Likely story.
Kellinka: Pencil Case! If you do not tell me, I will tell Cow you have a crush on her and you want to strip her naked.
Me: I'll tell you if you oink like a pig in labor and recite the Gettysburg Address.
Kellinka: Four score and seven years ago, our forefathers brought forth upon this nation a new continent, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlfield of that war. ::Oinks like a pig::.

All in all, I still never gave it to her. I guess she will just have to "find it". Hehe.



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