Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Four scoops of mashed potatoes and missing roast.

Today has been very interesting so far. French class was pretty much the root of it all.

Madame: Pencil Case, what is the address for your blog?
Madame: Okay. That's nice. Tell it to me again later. You know, Kellinka and I sat her all by our selves yesterday after school, and read her blog from top to bottom.
Me: You know, I wrote about you in mine yesterday.
Madame: That's great, Pencil Case. Can't all of you think of a better topic than me to write about? And while we are on the subject, what is the big deal about blogs, anyway?

Yes. I have come to the final conclusion that she is insane and thinks way too hard about things... You know I am just kidding, Madame, right? French was pretty normal after that, except for the fact that Madame divulged to us that there is going to be a pop quiz/test tomorrow on the irregular verbs. I need to study.

Theology was better today. The Frater wasn't as mad/sad, however, we did have to take a survey about drugs, sex, alcohol, tobacco, etc... Omigod. So boring, stupid, pointless, etc... The fun part was when The Frater told us that he gets drunk and has laughing attacks when he only a half of a glass of wine.

Let's skip English (very boring), and go to World History. WH was boring as well, but MacKenzie told me that on the "Who Are You?" portion of the survey, she put that she was a black male who was 6'9" and weighed 229 lbs. I found this highly amusing.

Lunch was fairly normal. When I first got there, though, Cow was standing at my table giving the evil eye to a group of junior boys who decided to occupy hers. She left and I sat down. We all ate our lunch, then I saw Madame. I went up to her to say hi and I eavesdropped onto this conversation:

Madame: (Holding a very large orange bowl filled to the brim with mashed potatoes and gravy) How much is this going to cost?
Lunch Lady: Well, how many scoops did you get.
Madame: Four... And they all look delicious. Oh, hi Pencil Case!

I run over to Kellinka, who is typing in the library with seamstress, after the thought that she needs to hear this juicy gossip, and tell her that we need to chat with Madame. She agrees. Before we leave the library, I snatch a pass. We then run upstairs to see if Madame is in her room. She isn't. Kellinka decides we need to go back downstairs before we get caught by Frau. Please keep in mind that Kellinka is still very much afraid of Frau. We come to figure that we only have about seven minutes left in the period, so our last stop would be the music room. I just needed to get the times straight for tonight, but Kellinka had a very nervous/eerie look to her face. I'm guessing that she either contracted West Nile Virus suddenly, or is afraid of Mrs. Schmidt. As we are leaving to go back to the cafeteria, I had the idea that Madame must be in the lounge. I tell Kellinka that we need to spy. She says no... Until I convince her that if we get caught, I would be willing to eat my own head. Now she agrees. I peek my head in the door and whisper-shout (you know what I mean), "Madame!" Madame comes out of the lounge.

Madame: Hello Pencil Case. Kellinka. What do you want?
Me: What was with all of the mashed potatoes?
Madame: Well, you see, I had made a roast for my coligues in the foreign language department, like Frau, and myself for today's lunch. Well, when I looked in the fridge this morning, I came to realize that my husband's friend came over the night before, said "What's for dinner?", and ate about half of my roast and most of the salad. I had to buy the mashed potatoes for a little side dish.
Kellinka: Why didn't you just kick him out? Our family kicks out people all of the time.
Madame: Well, he is like family I guess. Actually... (She goes into a huge raging ramble about how her husband is his best friends uncle. This involves much "hand talk")... And that is why my husband is his best friend's uncle.
Kellinka and I: Wow.

Madame stops this discussion and wonders about our fascination with her. She soon drops that one, too. The conversation then goes into a spin about how the NDA musical is a huge deal and that people come from all over... Even Appleton... To see our productions. We also talked about my status as a freshman in the musical.

Madame: You know, Pencil Case, you are very blessed that you got into the musical.
Me: I never said I wasn't.
Madame: I know, but look, there are seniors that go to this school that would have loved your part. Seniors that joined choir and took voice lessons for four years that would have loved to be in the musical at all. Even this morning some kids came into my room and said, "Do you know a Pencil Case ?" I said, "Sure, he is in my freshman class." Then they said, "Okay, we won't pick on him then." Pencil Case, you need to realize that if you think that kids are talking behind your back in envy... They more than likely are.
Me (sarcastically): Come on, I'm sure the whole school knows who I am.
Madame: Pencil Case, they do.
Kellinka to Madame: I bet that if Pencil Case was here two years ago, everyone would know him!
Madame: Everyone already does know him.

I then quickly changed the subject to talking about how I am going to be a famous actor, Kellinka will be a famous writer, and Madame will be famous for having in her possession, a dead pet giraffe. After that we go our separate ways to finish out the day.

After school, I went to say hi to Madame and tell her my blog address once again. Because of this, I was late for the bus and had to flag it down.

Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver: Next time I am just going without you! I was here and you should have been too! I have no pity for you. None. The sad part is that I was late today.

Yes. A very insane day.


At 5:34 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

I laughed out loud numerous times while reading this. But I can't believe you didn't mention your promise to eat your own head. And, hey, you are lucky you have Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver. I missed my bus completely, then Madame laughed maniacally.

At 5:36 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

We did read my blog top to bottom, by the way.

At 12:00 PM, Blogger Van Chelsing said...

I'm sorry I haven't posted on your blog yet. I'm sorry, and you are awfully good at making me feel bad. I can imagine you're reaction when you saw Madame with 4 scoops of potatos.


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