Sunday, January 30, 2005

Survivor 13, set in Tibet.

Wow. This weekend was very eventful. It was so hilarious! On Saturday morning, I was so bored. The original plan was to go to a movie with Britney and Lee-hah, but Britney was grounded, so Lee-hah decided to ditch me, and spend the day watching basketball. My day was boring from then on to roughly five hours. That is when Lee-Hah called me to sleep over. I went over, but when I got there, I saw that Lee-Hah's two friends, Sierra and Lis, were there. I thought, 'Oh, great.' They actually ended up to be pretty cool. We couldn't find anything to do, so Sierra had this crazy idea to make some prank calls. I said I would like to see some calls made, so we got the phonebook, and wrote a script for Sierra:

Hello. Is [Name here] available? Hi. This is Susan Liapog calling from CBS studios in Los Angelas, Callifornia. It seems as if you have been chosen as a cast member for Survivor season 13, set in Tibet.

It was at this point when the person being called would either do one of three things: Say that they're not interseted, Freak out or ask questions. There was a variety of responces, but a few very notable ones. This one lady started to freak out, and then put us on speaker phone. Her husband started to freak out also. It was very funny. This one lady thought we were her sister, and demanded to admit it was a prank. And this one lady wanted to think about it, so we gave her a bogus 1-800 number to "call us back." If anyone was seriously concedering our offer, we told them to keep our location a secret. It was fun for a bit, but then we got bored. Sierra then decided to have more fun.

Sierra: Hey! Let's order Chinese food to someones house! Two of the most expensivest thing!
Lee-Hah: [Looking at the menu in the phonebook] It would be the $18.95 rib-eye platter.
Sierra: Yes! And some sushi!
Me: Sierra, sushi is not Chinese, it is from Japan.

We never actually ordered food to a person's house. I convinced them that it was too mean. After Sierra found a "cancerous lump" on her arm, they both left. We then fell asleep.

This morning, Britney and I went to Lee-Hah's basketball game. It was long and boring. After that, we went to the Fox River Mall, where I told all of the prep stores (Abercrombie, American Eagle, Hollister, Limited, etc...) that they promote eating disorders. I almost got kicked out of Abercrombie.

Now I am at home, where I await to to go sing at eight.


Friday, January 28, 2005

I am back and less tired.

Wow. For once, I am not tired. Tonight, I will try to recap the most important details from teh past three days. I don't know how good I will do, but hey, at least I try.

On Wednesday, a few notable things went down.

Me: I went cow tipping once in Colorado Springs.
Madame: Pencil Case, cow tipping is not real.
Me: Yes, it is. I did it!
Madame: You did not. Do you know how many people it takes to tip over a cow?
Kellinka: How would you know?
Kayleigh: I really want to go cow tipping.
Madame: Do you know how many people it takes to tip a cow? Cows are heavy.
Me: It took us four.
Madame: Yeah right. And then when you've finally tipped the cow over, well, do you know how long it takes the cow to get back up?
Me: A very long time, yes, that is the funny part.
Madame: It's mean!
Kellinka: How do you know this much about cow tipping?! Have you been cow tipping?
Madame: No, I just saw that movie. What is it called...oh, yes, Tommy Boy.

According to Kellinka, Madame then went on to sing the "Fat Man in a Little Coat" song. I would have laughed had I been there. Also, during the phone-a-thon, the French club raised a record high of a club in NDA history of...$17,000!!!

Anyway, on Thursday, in French, my dialogue partner was gone, so I couldn't do any work. Kayleigh was on a role of being in class, too. During lunch, Daf "fed" Pam a muffin. When I say "fed," I mean Daf smashes Pam's face into a muffin until she can't breath. Pam then went into the washroom, and claimes that she blew two huge muffin chunks out of her nostrals. I guess Daf blew her nose, too.

Daf: [To me after coming out of the bathroom] You missed the funniest thing! I was in there blowing my nose, and I said very randomly 'No more cocain for me!' And this senior heard me. I think she is worried about me! HAHAHAHA! THAT IS SOOOO FUNNY!

She found it quite amusing. She is a crazy one, that Daf. Thursday was also Sockittoya's fifteenth birthday. I get her a used Hangman game and two bags of marshmallows.

Today, Kayleigh was once again sick, so I teamed up with Arial for a new dialogue which includes Kayleigh if she so happens to be there. Kellinka's group and my group have started a dialogue war. Whoever has the most insulting dialogue against each other, wins. BOOM! It's on! Hehe. She will never know what hit her. Hehe. After school, Daf and I went to the mall, then to see Are We There Yet? In the mall, we bought these momory pillows to sit on in the theatre. God, they are comfortable. Before the movie, Daf was shouting nonsence at random "sixth grade sluts." In the movie, we met a bunch of people. We prtended our names were "Callie" and "Nathanial," the blonde twins from Texas. Rusty Bowling was cool.

R.B.: Yep, my name is Rusty Bowling. Like the sport, boooooowling. You are Callie, like California. You are Nate, not Nathanagiz.
Daf: We are twins that were born in Texas.
R.B.: You are twins?!
R.B.'s Friend From SouthWest: Can't you tell?!

It was quite fun, even though the movie sucked. On on occasion, though, during a scene involving an asthma attack, Daf laughed really loud. It was funny because the scene was supposed to be sad, and Daf is the only one who found it funny.

Now I am home, and feeling queezy from a piece of beef jerky I just ate.

I am way too tired to post: Part Deux.

Wow. The musical and ten page long English papers really drain you. I PROMISE TO WRITE AN INTERESTING ENTRY TOMORROW!

Good night.

PS - Happy Birthday, Sockittoya!

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

I am way too tired to post.

Like it says in the title, I am WAY too tired to post. If you really want a recap of the day, go to http://www.mrwilcoxiamdemented.blogspot.com. Talk to you tomorrow, or if you are lucky, later tonight.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I really can't drink cowwy milk.

Why do French homework assignments have to be so goddamn tricky? Okay, last night, the book gave us about four pictures to give a noun to. The first three were mildly easy, but not the fourth. You see, it was a picture that resembled , and don't ask me why because I have no clue why this was said, a "mona pear"/moldy ham. Being the Pencil Case I am, I put down that it was la tante, French for aunt. Madame was convinced I had the right answer when the same question was on the exam, so she gave me full credit. The class and Madame then went on to discuss about the most random topic, milk.

Madame: Serious, kids, don't you think that different brands of milk taste different? I like the IGA brand, but not Kemps. I guess you could say that Kemps tastes too much like cows. It is too cowwy.

This befunkled statement dropped this conversation, but like always, led into something totally different. Mustard/Ketchup packets.

Madame: So, who can tell me what mustard comes in and where you buy it?
Seamstress: Those little packets that you get at Burger King and stuff. Hey, they're free.
Madame: Mustard does not come in those little packets. What else does it come in?
Seamstress: Yes, it does!
Me: Here. Let's settle this. Ask Kayleigh! She works at McDonalds!
Seamstress: Yeah!
Kayleigh: Wow. Thanks, Pencil Case.
Madame: So, Kayleigh, what is the deal?
Kayleigh: You actually have to start paying for them after a certain amount.
Me: People actually just take them?
Kayleigh: Yes. You would be quite surprised. Some people just come in and take handfuls of them and leave.
Madame: Well, some people just like to rip the tops off of little packets, and squeeze the contents into a bottle. Everybody has their hobbies, I guess.

I laughed so hard. It was, seriously, one of the funniest Madame moments in all of history.

In lunch, you will never believe what happened! WE GOT OUR TABLE BACK! Yes, you heard me right! As far as my knowledge goes, the senior boys that were the table nazis have moved into the meeting room for the remainder of the lunches. If they come back, I won't be too surprised, but I am happy for the time being.

In Art, Barbie came with another ditzy remark.

Artsie Tartsie: [Painting an example of we will be doing next, and then asking what we thought of it] So, what do you think? Does this look more yellow or violet?
The class minus Barbie: [Random but confident "Yellow"'s and "Violet"'s.]
Barbie: I would have to say that is is a good brown.

I would bet that she is more ditzy than a marijuana stricken Paris Hilton.

The phone-a-thon was a big success. I hope I was the top money maker for the French Club's shift. I wouldn't be surprised if I was, seeing as how Seamstress, Kellinka and Sockittoya all called me a "sleazy used car salesman." I guess I actually did reach that point when I started to call alumni of NDA that were pushing ninety by their nickname (eg. Thomas would be turned into Tom) or "Dude." I did have this really nice old lady named Phyllis who sang to me. Right after the over the phone concert, though, Kellinka whapped me in the head with a phone. It really did hurt like hell. After the , as Bloomy so puts it, "FUN-a thon," I went to sing with Mrs. Schmidt with the pit orchestra for the first time. I told Mrs. Schmidt that they were "totally radical to the max" while wearing my 1980s style sunglasses I had earned during the phone-a-thon.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Bye-bye, NewSpaniard.

Okay! It works like a charm. I guess now I am obligated to give all of you loyal fans out there *cough* Kellinka *cough* a good entry. Here we go...

[Narrator in a low, melancholy voice] Today started like any other day. Pencil Case going to school while giving Daf a ride also, starting first period at around 8:03am, you know, the usuals. Something about this day, though, gave Pencil Case a bad vibe. It all started dring the prayer service after second period.

We were all sitting there listening to a guest speaker drone on about sledding on a snow hill with a cafeteria tray when I heard the most shocking news of the day. Gulp. NewSpaniard had been fired over the weekend. You see, NewSpaniard was not my teacher, but a friend. She was a good math tutor, a good mentally ill impersonator, and a good...well...horrible Spanish teacher. None the less, though, she was a good person. I am very depressed about this news to say the least. I am mad at Kellinka, though, for comparing her departure to William Hung (see www.mrwilcoxiamdemented.blogspot.com.) She and I even went to talk to Madame about my sadness.

Madame: What do you kids want?
Kellinka: Pencil Case is very upset about NewSpaniard leaving.
Madame: Well, he should not be worrying about her because he is not in Spanish. [Proudly] He is in French. But, anyway, [to me] what can I do to make you feel better?
Me: Dance like a monkey.
Kellinka: See! this is what he does! He makes you feel bad for him then makes you do ridiculous things that will embarrass you for his pleasure. He always asks me to "oink like a pig in labor!"
Madame: Oh! That's ridiculous! Skedaddle!

We did leave, but only to the now twenty minute lunch. This is because the guest speaker ran over his time limit by forty-two minutes, and thus, the rest of the class periods are now only about fifteen minutes. During lunch, nothing happened.

In Art, though, a very funny thing happened.

Me: [To Barbie] Hey. Why did you steal Pam's compass?
Barbie: What!? I didn't!
Pam: Settle down. He was just teasing you, hon.
Barbie: What did you call me!?

It was quite funny. I believe that Barbie thought Pam was "coming on to her."

That was my highly boring and sad day.

[Narrator in the same voice] Tune in tomorrow for another twisted episode of Chaka-Lakah-Lakah!: The Blog.

Guest Speaker: [In a very "praise the lord" booming, enthusiastic voice] Who can tell me what day it is today?
Daf: Fire and brimstone day?

Blogger is being all funky.

This is just a test post to see if Blogger will eat, or for all of you other retard sill men out there, erase my entry. I will write a good one if my little experiment goes as planned.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Murderball, Sardines, and watching stars in the sanctuary. Oh, my!

I might go nuts if I don't have my French class fix by Monday. I was sick *cough cough* on Friday, so I chose not to go. It all started on Thursday night with the whole BetC backpack thing. Well, I couldn't do any of my homework, so I came down with a horrible headache from the worry. I believe it was a brain ulcer. So on Friday, I slept until about noon and after I woke up, I took a shower and got dropped off at Michelle (you do remember that he is a boy) and Lee-Hah's house for the night. I sat there alone for a bit, but when Aunt Nice got there, I went with her to get groceries. When we got back to her house, I went up to Lee-Hah's room to hang out with her seeing as how she was now home. She was straightening her hair, and asked me to hold a piece while she was ironing it with her "brand new titanium forty-five lbs. clamp with pocket compatibility new age hair straightening ceramic tool." Well, I did and not long after, she asked me to straighten a piece. Ugghh. Why me? As I was doing as she told me, she jerked her head, and the straightener went right into her eye. All 450º F of it. She screamed not because her eye hurt, but because her eyebrow was singed half off. She got over it fast, but then asked me to do it again. This time I did nothing wrong, but somehow her "head was on fire." She is so weird. Her friend, Ellesburg, then came over to get ready for the dance her and Lee-Hah were going to, and to sleep over. She is a goodie-goodie, so she is fun to mess with. When the other girls got there, Trey and Nacera, I wrote them all letters of hate. I made Ellesburg's really mean because I need to project my feelings instead of trapping them in. Here's what it was:

Ellesburg,

I hate you for the only reason being that you hate me. You need to stop turning people into ghosts!

P.S.- Your Skittles were nasty and gross.

Ellesburg Stats

Cool - .8

Whore - 1

Bi**h - 2

Angel - 00000!!

Overall - .9

You see, the reason I was so mean, is because I knew she would take it as a joke, which she did. The girls then went to the dance, and Michelle and I went with Daf to game night at the church. Game night consisted of Murderball, a very violent form of dodgeball in the church's basement, and Sardines, which is hide and seek backwards. Michelle and I had an all out brawl to see who could get each other out first in Murderball. Pencil Case - 3. Michelle - 1. Yes! I am the master. After Murderball, it was the long awaited Sardines. It was quite fun. Really it was, except for the fact that Daf and I were the only ones playing. When we found out everybody was upstairs playing scrabble, we were pissed that we spent the last forty minutes in a dark basement searching for a hider that didn't exist. We got over it. Michelle, Daf and I then went to sit and talk to Jay and his girlfriend after they got caught for making out in the sanctuary. We talked about school, life and anything that came to mind. We then went in the sanctuary to look at "stars." The stars are just the dimmed ceiling lights in the sanctuary. We left after more talk, and awaited Daf's mom to pick us up. The original plan was for Daf's mom to pick Lee-hah and Ellesburg up, and we would all go to Daf's to play a board game. Well, apparently Daf's dishwasher "exploded and now smells like mold," so no one wanted to go there, so Daf brought her game to Lee-hah and Michelle's. We played it, then Daf went home to be stuck in the stench of melted dishwasher plastic and mold. We all then went to sleep.

This morning, I got up early to go home. I went back to bed and slept until 1:00pm. I still don't have my backpack, so I need to get it tomorrow after I go home in the morning. Yes, I am now at another cousin sleepover. This time at Jack's.




Friday, January 21, 2005

The tale of my "weekly drug test."

Ugggh. I am so very tired. Must. Blog. [Snooze]

French class was different today. You see, Madame was in a better mood than she has been lately. At least that is what I thought. About half way through the class, Kellinka made a face at me that was hinting she was laughing inside. Madame saw her look, and my look back to Kellinka, as a form of hatred toward each other, so she asked us what was wrong. We just told her truth, and said that we thought what she had said was funny and that we most certainly do not hate each other. She didn't buy a word of it, and as a result, sent us to Student Services to "work out our differences." We thought she was joking, but when she told us a second time, we went without question. Before we went though, Madame gave us a few passes just in case they needed proof. All the way up SS, Kellinka and I giggled and asked ourselves why Madame had did what she just did. When we got up there after the two minute walk, they had already had an empty room with a piece of paper, a table, and two chairs. During that two minute walk, Madame had called up to SS and told them to be ready for us. "So, Madame told me that you two are a raging ball of emotions today." Those were the first words out of the secretary's mouth. Oh, great. That is all we need, is for the staff to think we are insane psychos. Well, all we need is for the staff to think Kellinka is an insane psycho. I do believe that I am already taken care of. As she was talking, though, I grabbed a pamphlet about club drug addiction because every once in a while, I like to rerad about this stuff. I swear, they are so funny! On the back of the pamphlet, they have three FAQs. One of them was, "If I take club drugs like ecstasy, won't I dance off all of the effects?" Who asks that? Really? Anyway, they sat us in the room and told us to "work out a situation or plan that would help us and the class." I used my infamous Hunter Orange Gel-Pen to write the not with Kellinka. It was about a half of a page and it ended something like this:

[Kellinka's writing] Kellinka and Pencil Case are very sorry for showing supposed anger toward each other and the class. It won't happen again. [My handwriting] Well, all of that is true except for the part of Kellinka being sorry. She made that up.

I found it funny, and I thought it would ease everybody's mind. Well, when Kellinka saw it she instantly screamed and told me to cross it out because if I didn't, they would call her parents. Just about at that time, an old lady counselor came in and said, "You are being WAY to loud! Come in my room to talk now." Yes, this is all we need is a crabby counselor.

Crabby Counselor: Well, it doesn't seem like you two hate each other! I heard y'all giggling up a storm in the other room.
Kellinka: Well, we don't hate each other at all. We don't even agree with why we are up here.
Crabby Counselor: Well, it seems to me that you tow get along too well.
Me: I would have to agree with that.
Crabby Counselor: Here's what we are going to do, I am going to write a "contract" saying that this will never happen again with you two, because if it does, you will be up here all of the time and that means, right? You will miss a lot of class, and you know what that means, right? You will fail the class.
Me: Sounds good to me! [Instantly distracted by a bowl of peppermint Tootsie Pops] Oh, look! Candy!
Kellinka: [To Crabby Counselor] Oh, dear. He does love candy canes!
Crabby Counselor: Yeah...okay. Anyway, here it is. [Whips out the "contract"] Sing here.
Me: [I draw a dotted line with and X] Good! I'll even make it official. I'll sign on the X!

We both sign as the bell is ringing, then go back to the French room very slow so we can miss the first part of the next class. When we get to the room, the second bell has long since rung, and the second hour French 1 class was in session. We walk in, and Madame says, "Why are you kids giving me this (the 'contract') ?" We then explain to her that the Crabby Counselor made us do it. She says okay, and sends us off to our next class. At this point, I am sure the class in session is wondering about what is up, and I am positive that the club drugs pamphlet is not helping at all. We then go by my locker to talk a bit more when we see Madame magically walk up the stairs behind us and say, "You kids are still here!?" She skedaddles us off for real, and off we go to our next class.

During Lunch, Kellinka tells me that she heard from someone that everybody thinks we were in SS for my weekly drug test. Oh, God. I knew that the pamphlet would come into play in some crazy way.

Kellinka: I am so sure that I need to go with you to Student Services for you to pee in a cup. Where do people think of these crazy things?
Me: The pamphlet, Kellinka. The damned pamphlet.

The rest of the day went fairly well. After school, I went with BetC to Art in the Afternoon to finish my project. When her mom came to pick us up, we went to McDonalds then she took me home to get my script, then took me back to school st 6:28pm for practice at 6:30pm. I made it on time, and during the practice, I realized that I left my backpack in BetC's car. I have SO MUCH homework I need to do for tomorrow, it is not even funny. Oh, well. There is nothing I can do about it now.

Talk to you tomorrow.

Madame: Go on, now! Skedaddle bedaddle!
Kellinka: I'm pretty sure that was the worst rhyme ever.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

NewSpaniard has bad ratings.

Sorry. Today, there will be no Madame stories or tales because she was...How can I say this...VERY BORING AND OLD-LIKE. Just kidding. There will be a few Madame moments.

In Theology, there were two speakers for the infamous "Vocations Awareness Week." One was a priest in a frater uniform/robe that talked really super loud, and the other was a senior at St. Norbert's College who thought he was cool. It was mildly boring and very weird. It just gave me an unwanted feeling to be in the presence of two Fraters. It was like I was in the Twilight Zone. Well, the class was soon to be over, and when it was, I booked it to English.

In English, we used the whole class to learn how to do a weird notecard thing. It took me thirty-seven minutes to get it. When I did, it was time to leave.

During Lunch, Candy and I had to interview some nuns for Theology homework. One nun was psychotic, and said that her best hobby is boycotting Coca-Cola. Insane nun.

In Art, Barbie was her usual ditzy self. You see, Artsie Tartsie was explaining that on today's project, we could use any material we wanted. Barbie's hand was extended in the air because she had a question. In fact, her hand was up for quite a bit of time. Artsie Tartsie then said, "I think I am going to leave the paint and glitter in the cabinet today, though, because it gets way too messy." Barbie then looked around very softly and lowered her hand as if it was never up. I guess I just find it funny that even in class all she thinks about is making her projects and herself pretty.

After school, Kellinka and I, before the Forensics meeting, went to see Madame.

Me: [Sarcastically] Are you going to Chef Chow's or Smokey Bones?
Madame: I am not going to Smokey Bones.
Kellinka: Haha! I heard about that! So, you thought "The Roadhouse" was too American?
Madame: No. I just don't like places that don't take reservations.
Kellinka: Texas Roadhouse takes reservations!
Madame: No, they tell you they take reservations, but when they tell you to be there, they just say "Wait an hour." So you end up waiting a hour. That is not reservations! That is just garbage.

Yes, Madame just can't help that she is funny. In the Forensics meeting I couldn't stop playing with these plastic stick things. After the meeting, I stick the sticks up me sleeves, and thus, my shirt shoulders stuck up in a point. I said they looked like a zoot suit, and I instantly became "40s Man!!!!" I think Kellinka busted a gut laughing so hard. After I took them out, I went to say hi to NewSpaniard. She was typing grades into her computer at the time, then went to a site where kids and parents rate teachers. After she couldn't find it, I told her to look at Ratemyteachers.com. After I realized what I had just said and that NewSpaniard had very bad ratings on the site, I ran away not wanting to see her reaction and her feelings being hurt. Kellinka then whapped me a good one for telling her the site (by the way, if you want to see her ratings, click http://us.ratemyteachers.com/ShowRatings.php?tid=1108066&type=0 !!!) I then practiced my forensics with Ellen and Girl-Dawg. After that, Kellinka and I went outside to wait for DV to pick us up. While we were waiting, I dug a tiny hole in the snow, stuck my face in it, and blew. Not thinking of what would happen, I came to realize that by doing this, snow tends to blow up in your face and go down your shirt. Kellinka laughed so hard once again that I believe she busted her other gut. Oh, great. That's all we need is a no functioning gut Kellinka. She then the the "Blow in the Hole in the Snow" and ended up with many a snowflake attached to her face. I got bored while waiting, so I demanded Kellinka to fetch mr a stick so I could draw in the snow without getting my fingers cold. After trying to protest by saying "I am a little immigrant orphan child, and I wear nothing but shoes made of cloth. If I follow your request to get a stick, my feet will freeze," she did it. We then drew scatter plots in the snow, then finally, Kellinka's DV came. He dropped me off at home, and now I am waiting for Daf to pick me up for youth group.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

The joy of spoiled milk.

Today was a very weirdinagoodway day. This morning at about 6:40am, Snip called me and wasked if I could give her a ride to school. A half asleep me said yes as I jotted down the directions and address. I quick got ready, and my mother told me to call Daf and tell her that we will be running a little early today. I must have ignored half of the demand or something, because I did call Daf, but all I said was that we would give her a ride. Apparently, I said nothing about being about fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. I got in the car about two minutes after I hung up, and off to Daf's we went. When we arrived at her house, we noticed she wasn't waiting by the door as usual, so I urged Mother to honk the horn, and she did so. Still no Daf. About six minutes later, we honked again. This time, Daf stuck her head out of the door, and was out in about thirty seconds. She got in the car.

Daf: Wow. You guys came a little early today. I saw you out here the whole time, butI couldn't leave because all I had on was an undershirt. My mom was ironing my pants and my shirt was in the dryer. [Shows us her pant legs which are half wrinkly/half crisp] See? My shirt isn't much better either.
Mother: Well, Pencil Case called you to tell you we were coming early.
Daf: No, he didn't. He called to tell us you guys could pick me up for school today.
Mother: What?! That is all he told you? Sorry, Daf, but it was all Pencil Case's fault.

A cowering me sat quiet until we got to Snip's house, and Daf started up again.

Daf: I didn't even have enough time to grab my rubber bands for my braces.
Me: Oh, you'll live for today.
Daf: No, I won't. I am getting huge cavities from the absent rubber bands. [Totally moving on] My orthodontist didn't make my lip bumper the right size, either. It, like, sticks out really far.

Snip gat in the car, and it was off to NDA for us. When we got there, I went up to the French room, and waited for the bell to ring. When it did, I sat in my seat, and waited for the session of learning to commence. All we did learn/talk about was the rest of the exam corrections. Somehow, though, we got off topic and Madame went into a huge ramble about the milk and other food in France.

Madame: Americans are very used to preservatives. You see, kids, in France, or any other European country for that matter, the milk is only good for about two days, tops. My mother used to buy milk for me all of the time, and I would have to drink the whole gallon before it spoiled. Speaking of spoiled milk, milk spoils different here than there also. When I moved to New York, I decided to put the milk out overnight so I could have some buttermilk to make buttermilk pancakes for myself. I sure do love buttermilk pancakes! Anyway, the next morning, I believe I smelled the worst smell ever in the history of smells. Rotten American milk. I threw it away, and almost threw up.

After many laughs and giggles that were mostly from Sockittoya and I, Madame started talking about shopping in France.

Madame: People in France like to shop in a whole bunch of little stores compared to the Americans who like it in huge, gigantic supermarkets. In France, the people go to the butcher to get meat, the bakery to get a loaf, and, well, lots of other places. The cool thing, though, is that the store doesn't bag up the items, so the consumers must bring their own. The grocery bags always end up being fancy and personalized.

Also in French, Madame seemed to misplace her white binder a lot. After more laughter, we finished correcting the exam and left the class when it was time.

In Theology, the Frater gave us a (surprise, surprise) speech. This time about how Catholic priests are very easily accused for young male molsetation. It was sad and interesting at the same time. Who knew that for at least one day, the Frater could actually get through to us?

In World History, FB and I had a tiny chat about his and Chelk's relationship and about how he wouldn't trust me with his life. Yes, yes. Good times.

At Lunch, we still got stuck with the "shaft table" which by now we have come to hate. Ughh. Two days is far too long to be eating in an uncomfortable environment. Most likely, though, we will suffer like this the rest of the year.

In Art, we had our first project of the semester. It was a piece of paper that had nine boxes on it. Each box held a single line shape, and we had to draw a picture using the line. Mine was nine different angles of a fish being caught. I actually thought it was quite good.

This is the second day in a row that we had a new math student. Ugggh. I hate large classes. Just last week, we only had six kids. Now we have eight. This is an outrage!

Tonight I have no practice! Yay!

Monday, January 17, 2005

If you have a noun, it goes "ploomp" to the bottom.

Well, it has been three days, and I am yearning to write. I got a few of my exam grades. Uggh. Let's not even go there.

Today in French, Madame went over our exam with us. This consisted of an overhead projector and a dead dry-erase marker. Madame then asked us to repeat after her when she was spitting out all of the conjugations. Maybe, at the most, three people repeated. She got extremely upset over this.

Madame: Why do you kids not repeat when I tell you to? I already know this stuff! I am not crazy! I do not ask questions to myself!

She then did a few very subtle twitches which I believe I am the only one that saw. She then tried to explain to us about the order of the "noun graph."

Madame: You see, kids, if you have a noun to make singular or plooral, you need to remember that it goes "ploomp" to the bottom.

Yes. She still has a Russian accent. We finished going over the test, and we went on the next class.

In Theology, nothing happened except when EVP dared to ask me to ask the Frater if he wore anything under his habit. No matter how psychotic I may be... NO!

During World History, Nate transferred into our class and I told him of the infamous name, "Joonie Moon Deeder Dooder."

At Lunch, Daf, Pam, and Candy came up to me saying how a group of former "5B Lunch Senior Men" have taken over our table. As a long made pact, Daf and Pam took it upon themselves to sit with them. This boy, Bobby, started to shout curse words at her face and threaten to punch her right in front of Mr. Brooker. Tiffany told him that she would like to see him try and that Mr. Brooker would defend her. Well, actually, all Mr. Brooker did was tell Tiffany that it was "Senior Privledge." Wow. What a meanie. We ended up moving, and sitting at a different table. Yes. It sucks.

In my FIRST DAY OF ART WITH KELLINKA, PAM AND NATE nothing happened except for a ditzy Barbie.

Artsie Tartsie: If you guys get lucky, maybe we can do self-portraits first!
Barbie: Oh? Of ourselves or our friends.
Artsie Tartsie: Of yourselves. You will have a mirror to look in.

It was a "you-kind-of-had-to-be-there" thing.

On the bus ride home, CLLBD almost hit a man walking across the street. Yes, the brakes just about knocked the wind out of all of us.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Exams. I hate exams.: Part Trois of Three.

Well hello again. Let me start the entry with last night's study tables. You see, Kellinka, Sockittoya, Seamstress and I had decided that we needed to study for the exams that took place today. Kellinka gave me a ride there, and we met up with the others in the commons. We studied for a bit then I went to the library to see my grades on PowerSchool. I scrolled down to the World History part of it, and I was shocked. I am not going to tell you what I got, but I will say it was pretty horrible. I started to freak out then I became very sad and sulky. I went back into the commons and told the gang what had just happened. They said it wasn't right, and I didn't do that bad. Sockittoya went back in the library with me to check it again just to make sure. It still was the same. We even did the math, and it came up the same. I really started to be depressed at that point, and I went to sit at the table and not do any studying. Kellinka then offered to go with me to see Madame upstairs. We got to her room, and the door was shut and locked, but the light was on. I looked through the little window and saw that there was no one in there, but, as an evil joke, I told Kellinka that Madame was in there. She got very excited, very fast. I started to say thing through the door like, "Kellinka likes girls, not boys!" and "Kellinka has crabs!" knowing that Madame was not in there. She started to freak out, and use me as a punching bag. I then told her I was joking, and that Madame was not in there. She was relieved. We then went to see ABC so she could help me re-evaluate my grade. She was busy, so Ms. Jacobson helped me. She said the PowerSchool was off by one notch. I was happy then, so we ran back downstairs. On the way, though, we ran into Ulcer Boy. You need to know that Seamstress and Kellinka are not very fond of Ulcer Boy, so, naturally, I told him that Kellinka loved him. Haha. I then ran away with Kellinka on my tail. I stopped by my locker, and I got this black, plastic rod. I don't know why, it is just fun. We ran back to the commons only to realize that we now had Madame's phone number. I started to mope again, realizing the reality, and said the only way I would be happy is if we called Madame. Kellinka worked up the nerve, and called her. No answer. Kellinka and I then went to the library to write Madame an email, and decided to call her again. Okay, this time she answers. She says hello a few times, and a nervous Kellinka hangs up on her. We run to tell the others that she answered, and then run to the payphone to try again. This time her husband (Mr. Madame) answers, and once again, Kellinka hangs up. This time, Eric wants to try it. He calls and says a simple, "Hi" and literally throws the phone at Kellinka. Kellinka right away explains to her that I am having a nervous breakdown, and that I needed to talk to her. She throws the phone at me. I tell her that I am having a bad day. She then says, "Pencil Case. Go get a glass of warm milk and go to bed." We hang up and go back to the commons. I twist and twine the plastic rod a few times in Seamstress's hair before Kellinka's daddy comes to pick us up. He drops me off, and I go to sleep with the thought of having an Algebra exam in roughly twelve hours.

Seventh Period - Algebra: This exam actually wasn't as hard as I expected it to be. It was about eight pages front and back, mostly multiple choice. I finished third, and then watched Ulcer Boy frantically try to finish his. He finished, and pretty much stared at CC as she corrected tests. She noticed him, and became very angry.

CC: Ulcer Boy! You better find something else better to do than stare at me, or I will pull you test out of the pile right now and mark every question wrong!

Ulcer Boy flushed with redness and turned around. The bell rang shortly after, and I hightailed it out of the room. Period seven, ALONG WITH EXAMS, over.

I then saw Kellinka in the hall and, once again, tried to restrain her from catching her bus in time. Once again, I failed. She went home, and I went downstairs to wait for musical practice. I practiced for about four hours, and then Jennifer came to pick me up. She dropped me off at home, and I went to sleep for an hour.

Yes. Very exciting.



Thursday, January 13, 2005

Exams. I hate exams.: Part Deux of Three.

Wow. I am not even joking when I say this, but I HATE EXAMS! God. I really, really do. Here's the day:

Third Period - Honors Freshman English: We got into class and sat down. Normal class so far, but today it was the first class so everybody was tired... Very tired. Brownie started to explain the test and what was what. While she was explaining, her lip started to bleed from being chapped. She started making jokes with Conard about how her lip was "gushing blood." I don't know. I didn't find it that funny. She then gave us a short story that was to be read as part of the exam. It was about something like a guy who was a barber, and he was tempted to kill a customer of his with a shaving blade. It was rather entertaining, actually. I completed the exam which was pretty much all vocab. But I finished it right down to the wire, though. The bell rang and off I went. Period three, over.

Fourth Period - World History: This exam was by far the one I had been dreading the most. This class has been a struggle for me all year, so, naturally, I pretty much had no self confidence. Abby and I walked into the room about five minutes early and got to talking about her and Daf's "friendship."

Abby: You know, Pencil Case, I have heard that Daf has been talking about me in bad way behind my back.
Me: Yes. She has. Everybody has. Abby, you need to realize that you bring the hate upon yourself. If you piss people off, what do you think is going to happen?
Abby: All I know is, is that I am going to kill Daf if she doesn't talk to me personally and not behind my back. I will literally kick her f**king ass! She is such a bitch.

I walked away, not wanting to get any further into this ugly conversation. The bell rang and Brazeau gave us the test without hesitation. Once I saw it, I was not really worried about it as much. In fact, it was pretty easy. I zipped through it and handed it in. I then asked to "go to the bathroom" which really translates to "stop in the commons to see Sockittoya and then go to the bathroom." I talked to her for a bit, and then I went back to the dead silent classroom. I took out Poddington and started to listen. Yes, Brazeau said it was okay. The bell rang, and off I went to the commons. Fourth period is done.

Fifth Period - Study Hall: YES! OH YEAH! EXAMS ARE DONE FOR TODAY! I have one left... Math. But that is tomorrow, so I don't need to worry yet. This was the most fun part of the whole day. It started when Seamstress and I ditched Kellinka in the hall, and she had to go to Algebra. Haha. We were done, so we didn't care. When we got into the commons, we decided we were hungry, so I got a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. It was delicious. Seamstress and The Little Mermaid got a kick out of watching me spread the cream cheese, though. Apparently, I "pet" the bagel with the knife. Whatever. Anyway, Seamstress and I got hungry again, so we went to buy stuff from the vending machines. We decide to each get a bag of different chips, and we would share. I was first. I got Munchos. Seamstress, with my opinion in her head, got Cheddar Fries. As she was pulling hers out of the machine, though, the bag broke and all of the previously yummy Cheddar Fries were spilled all over the floor. Hilly made her pick them up, and we ended up just sharing my delicious... Munchos. We were done, and we went to go sit by Supermodel to mooch thirty cents off of her. She gave it to us, and then she text messaged her sister and told her that she was done. A button in my head instantly went off, and I asked her if I could text message her sister. She said yes, and gave me the phone. Little did she know of my evil text messaging past. I wouldn't let her look at it until it was already sent. I wrote, "Supermodel has a 18 year old boyfriend," and sent it to her sister. Her sister replies with a simple "WHAT?!?!" Supermodel then called her sister, and said it was just me being stupid. It sounded, though, as if her sister needed some convincing. After the Supermodel thing was over, Seamstress and I went to the library. Period five is over and done with.

After school, though, was very hilarious. You see, I was hanging with Madame again so I was very funny. Kellinka, Snip, and I went to visit Madame after I got my picture taken for The Tritonian with Schott for the musical. Anyway, we went up to her room to say hi. She was helping someone with a test so she really couldn't talk much at that moment, so I decided to wait for her to finish. Just as the student got done and Madame would be free, Kellinka had to leave to catch her bus. As much as I wanted her to stay, she had to leave. Snip and I were praying for her to miss her bus or slip and fall on some black ice. No such luck. She caught her bus, and Snip and I were left with Madame. Enter Frau and another foreign language teacher I have never seen before.

Frau: So, Madame, where do you want to go eat? Chef Chow's?
Madame: Frau. We ate at Chef Chow's the past three days! I want a new place!
Frau: Well, let's see, if you are the only one protetsting against Chef Chow's then you need to have an alternate plan. I mean every place we pick, you hate. Like The Olive Garden.
Madame: Uggh. Why do you have to bring up The Olive Garden? I have an alternate plan for your information!
Frau: What is it then? Go ahead, spit it out.
Madame: It might be nice to try that new rib place over by the mall.
Frau: You mean Smokey Bones? It can't be The Roadhouse because you hate that place, too.
Madame: Yes. The Roadhouse is too "American." Yes! Smokey Bones sounds good! Let's go there.
Frau: Ugggh.
Madame: Fine! If you want us to go to Chef Chow's, we will! Is there nothing else besides Chef Chow's, The Olive Garden, The Roadhouse, and Smokey Bones? I mean, come on! How about Moe's? That place sounds good. [Long pause] Nevermind. I really wouldn't like Moe's.
Frau: God, Madame! [Sarcastically] No. There is only four restaurants in Green Bay. I don't care! Let's go to Smokey Bones!
Madame: Good! Yay! I am glad this is settled!
Me: [Trying to change the subject] So, Frau, do you speak fluent German?
Madame: [Butting in] That would be a definite yes. She speaks and teaches the language, what do you think?
Frau: Was he talking to you, Madame? Yes. I speak fluent German.
Me: Cool! Say something very long and complicated.
Madame: Yes, Frau. Do it! Say, "My best friend, Madame, and I are going to to eat at Smokey Bones, we are going to order blah, blah, blah."
Frau: [Something that involves a lot of "ich"'s and has the words "Chef Chow's" mixed in.]
Madame: WHAT?!?! We are not going to Chef Chow's! Get it together, woman.
Frau: God. Don't get so upset. I just used Chef Chow's as an example.
Madame: Oh. Sorry, then.

The subject then changes very fast for no reason after they get done talking about passport holders for the Eurotrip being leather or a cheap fabric. Frau states that only cows and furniture are meant to be leather.


Madame: You will never believe this, I went to wash my daughters underwear last night, and she wouldn't let me. It is so weird. She has a favorite pair one day, and she will hate them the next day!
Frau: Yeah, well, my God-daughter, Sasha, pees all over her floor. I went to look in her training potty, and I saw piddle. I told her "Good job!" but then I went to her room, and she was peeing on the carpet.
Madame: Yeah. That happens.
Frau: Well at least she doesn't run around naked like your daughter!
Madame: Yes, well, the only reason she runs around naked for is so that she can change her underwear. You know, from her favorite to her new favorite. She won't even go potty with her favorite ones on because she is afraid of getting them dirty. Like yesterday. She says, "Mummy. No, no, no! No puppy!" Which means she doesn't want to wear her puppy underwear to go pee. Bear underwear, yes, she wouldn't mind getting those dirty, but not the puppy ones. No way.
Frau: Wow. Oh! Well, look at the time. We better get going. Smokey Bones is waiting for us.

Frau and Weird Teacher exit, leaving Madame, Snip, and I.

Madame: Well, I am feeling peer pressured to leave.
Snip and I: Okay. We will see you tomorrow.

Madame and Frau head off after Frau states that her classroom is a magnet, and how she converts Frenchies to Germanies behind Madame's back. I go to my locker to get my things, and then head downstairs only to see Madame and Frau again.

Madame: Hello again, my peep Pencil Case. Now, tell me what you think about the color of Frau's new purse.

Frau shows her purse, and reveals that it is an army green bag.

Me: Wow. It looks... [I get cut off by Madame]
Madame: Come on, Pencil Case! You will not hurt her feelings!
Me: It looks like pea soup.
Madame: Okay, neat-o. Bye!

Madame and Frau leave in a rush, leaving Snip and I in the atrium all alone.

See you all tomorrow with Part Three of "Exams. I hate exams."

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Exams. I hate exams.: Part Un of Three.

Today was quite possibly one of the worst days of my NDA career so far, for today was my first day of the dreaded exams. Here's how it went:

First Period - French: I got into class right, and I mean right, before the bell rang. After I found my seat in the new formed "scatter plot" seating arrangement, I sat down. Madame was not in a tangent mood as usual, and gave the class their tests. It was roughly fifty questions, all of which I had a vague idea of how to answer. I used all (all meaning three) of my extra credit stickers so I could get the leg up on a few bonus points seeing as how there was no bonus section. I finished about twenty minutes before the time was up, unlike the freak show Kellinka who finished about ten minutes into the exam. I whipped out Poddington as Kayleigh rummaged through my backpack. She stumbled upon a picture of Supermodel, and asked if she could Xerox it for a locker sign. I said sure, and then made her listen to the Jerky Boyz on Poddington. She laughed uncontrollably and then the bell rang. First period over.

Second Period - Theology: The exam was pretty hard. I had to use my Bible quite a few times. There was short answer questions upon short answer questions. After the exam, because Poddington isn't allowed in this class, I read Me Talk Pretty One Day. Seriously, this is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read. The bell rang, and I escaped the room. Second period over.

Eighth Period - Physical Science: After Theology, I ran into Kellinka in the halls. She was trying to mooch moolah off of me to buy Fritos, but I wasn't giving in. Instead, I told her to mooch off of Madame. She was afraid, so I did it for her. Madame said, yes, she could have a dollar, but first she need to do something with photocopies and doors. Like I have said many a time, MADAME IS INSANE! I got a Propel from the cafeteria, and headed for Kermit's room. He gave us the test and a calculator. If I remember right, there were seventy-eight multiple choice questions. Now don't get me wrong, multiple choice is my favorite type, but seventy-eight of them is a little much. I completed the test, and headed to my locker only to find Kellinka. We went to visit Madame, but she was busy and she told us to be quiet or skedaddle. We chose to be quiet... Until I hit Kellinka in the forehead with a PowerChess98 CD-ROM jewel case. I told her it was pink and purple and that it was probably infected. I lied. We left the room and I restricted Kellinka from catching her bus. She got away and caught it.

I am now home about to go to the mall with Daf. Talk to you tomorrow with part two.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

As exams approach...

So far, today wasn't all that strange. This morning, I overslept for the second day in a row. No biggie, though. I still made it to school.

French wasn't all that weird today either. All we really did was study for exams. Ugggh. I am dreading them. Madame did teach us how to say "peeps/dudes" in Français today. It is "mecs." She really is an insane one like the Mr. Grinch. Oh, wait. The Grinch is mean, not insane. Whatever, Madame can be both minus the mean. Also today in French, I tripped over Ellen and fell on her desk. I also did really well at translating numbers, too.

In Theology, I wrote and drew things all over Erin's hand and arm. They were things like, "Erin is gothic and the anti-Christ." and "I [heart] MTV." I also drew stitches all over, too. In this class, we also studied for exams.

In English, Brownie had us watch this three year old video about The Lord of the Flies. The reason it was funny, though, is because Brooker Supporter made it when he was a Freshman. All it consisted of was his dog attacking his little brother, and a "talking" photo of a baby in a sailors uniform. Yes, very amusing. In this class, exams were the hot topic of discussion.

In World History, ChatterBox would not stop asking questions about exams. I swear to God, if I ever, and I mean EVER ask that many questions in my high school career, decapitate me.

During Lunch, Kellinka, Sockittoya and I went to Madame's room to study *snicker* for the French exam. As I was leaving the cafeteria with my food, ABC stopped me.

ABC: Where exactly are you going with that food?
Me: Up to Madame's room. She is helping me study for the exam.
ABC: Well, technically, no food is to leave the cafeteria. Wait one moment. I am going to ask Mr. Brooker if it is okay if you go.

As she went to ask, I just ran away up to Madame's room. I knew Mr. Brooker was in the cafeteria, and she wouldn't find him. While up in Madame's room, she was working on her exam.

Madame: [Screaming nonsense at the computer screen] Why are you going to the second line?

I really wanted to know how to say "STD infected whore" in French, so I asked Madame. She wouldn't tell me, but she allowed me to look it up. I did and she told me I was right. As I was getting up, I farted in Sockittoya's face. God, that was a classic moment in French room history! Kellie then told me about a file hidden somewhere in Seamstress's computer that was named "Pencil Case is about as manly as a bra." That bitch. We studied for a little while longer before the bell rang. I threw my garbage in the trash can, and headed down toward the cafeteria to rid myself of my tray.

I got to the library, where I am now, and started typing away at this God forsaken trash I call a blog.

In Science, I managed to escape to my locker for the majority of the class. All this was, was a bunch of laughs from a hall wandering Brownie directed toward me.

Madame: Did you kids ever see that "Napolian" movie?
Movie Junkie: Yes! I loved it.
Madame: When I saw it I was thinking of you kids. I should have brought it in. "Your mom went to college." That was a great line.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Going on an excursion to find a lost notebook.

Today was insane. In order for you to get the full picture of my day, let's start with French class. Madame was stressed to the max today just thinking about exams. In a weird Russian tactic to get us to finally learn how to do math in French, Madame let us do it first hand on the board. Kellinka was first. Of course, she did it perfect and went to sit back down. Sockittoya was next. She totally screwed it up and skipped, like, three digits. Natalie was next by choice of Madame. She did it perfect, but stumbled a little with the translations. Last, but not least, was me. You see, I am not good under pressure. Today was no different. I got all of them perfect when I was in my seat, but when I was on the board, I was a train wreck. I finally managed to get it somewhat right. Madame then went into a big rant about how Europeans are better at math, and how they have better rules.

Madame: I cannot believe that none of you know the "25 Rule!"
Random Student at the Left Side of the Room: After all, we are just stupid Americans.

Madame started rattling off long division and long multiplication, expecting us to know what she was talking about. She then explained how America is stupid and stuck up for not using the Metric System. If you ask me, Madame needs to realize that she is now in the "American category" and that she needs to think then speak.

Once again in Theology, we just pissed Frater off. 'Nuff said.

On the way to World History, I grabbed Anna Schumacher and had her help me scare some unsuspecting victims... Like Supermodel. During World History, my group finally gave the Judaism report. It went okay, except for the fact that people write very s-l-o-w.

At Lunch, Kellinka once again grabbed me and made me go on an "excursion to find her lost notebook." You see, Kellinka carries a green notebook with her where ever she goes. She calls it a journal/novel. It is said to carry all of her deepest, darkest secrets. Well, today she lost it. She made me go to the French room about three times to look for it in hopes that no one has been reading it.

Kellinka: [In a panic] Seriously, Pencil Case, wht would you do if you found a notebook full of writing? Would you put it away?
Me: No. I would most likely read it.
Kellinka: Exactly! We need to find it!

We never found it, but I made sure a wanted ad went up. I donated fifty cents to the tsunami relief effort so I could put a handprint up that read, "Donated by Kellinka's Green Notebook." That way if someone sees it, they will want to keep it because it is a celebrity. If that happens, it will be easy for Kellinka to find it, because the person who has it will be flaunting their new "friend."

That is my day so far. Most likely, I will post later. No promises, though.

Kellinka: That is a good one! Schmatin.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Nothing much.

I really don't have much to say tonight, but that in about two hours and fifteen minutes I will be singing for Mrs. Schmidt. I am pissed, though, because I am going to miss Desperate Housewives. Kellinka, tell me what happens.

"Hey! I want some food!" -Cabbie.

Today was boring at times and interesting at times. This morning I woke up at around 10:12am because I was up until about 2:00am this morning. Yes, 10:12am is late for me to sleep in. I got out of bed and Mother surprised me with my favorite breakfast, biscuits and gravy. I ate it and then went to NDA to hang out at the set construction. I really served no purpose there and Mrs. Schmidt knew it. She was all pissed off at me for "loitering." I came to the conclusion that she is one of those people that are either really nice or really mean. It depends if it a full moon or not, I guess. Maria and some other girl went to McDonalds to pick up lunch for everyone. I payed them for some fries and they wrote my order, along with everybody else's, on a piece of scrap wood. They got back and we chowed down. Kellinka, Seamstress, and Sockittoya got Mighty Kids Meals. I stole Seamstress and Sockittoya's toys and put them in Seamstress and Maria's hair. As they went back to work, I went to hang with Girl-Dawg. I saw that Kellinka was up there practicing her forensics. I hung there with a very un-tangent Girl-Dawg and Kellinka. I left at 1:55pm to get picked up by Mother and Daf.

Mother dropped Daf and I off at the mall because we were to see Meet the Fockers later. While in the mall, Daf got a Coconut Italian Soda from Gloria Jean's. She took it to Hot Topic and let all of the employees have a taste. They all said it was good, except for the very gay cashier. We then walked to the theatre.

As we were sitting down, we realized that we did not have a ride home. We really didn't worry about it, though. During the movie, the lady that was sitting next to me kept giving away the twists and turns of the plot before they happened. She was middle aged and very annoying. After the movie we went back to the mall and hung out seeing as how we had nothing else to do. We got hungry so we went to McDonalds... The long way. We didn't see that it was right across from tea mall, so we ended up walking about three miles. Kayleigh was working at McDonalds and she let us use her cell so we could call a cab. We called it and it came in about fifteen minutes. The cabbie was a Hispanic male with long greasy hair. He had tattoos galore and smelled funky. Daf and I both sat in the back. He wouldn't stop making jokes.

Cabbie: [Fakely pulling into the McDonalds drive thru.] Hey! I want some food!

Cabbie: Where are you going? Wind-furd. Win-fort. Wat-ford. What the hell-ford.

Daf: You are not as scary as I thought you were going to be.
Cabbie: You do find some scary cab drivers out there.

The cabbie then went into a big speech about how female cab drivers get harassed by "drunk fools." He then noticed that he never started the fair meter.

Cabbie: What the hell! It is stuck at fifteen dollars! Oh, well. Let's put it back at three. I'll give you guys the benefit of a doubt.

We got to my house and I picked up my stuff to bring to Lee-hah and Michelle's house. Daf and I walked over there. We played on the computer (don't ask) and we also played cribbage. Daf then walked home and I stayed the night.

I'll talk to you tomorrow!

Friday, January 07, 2005

After school antics and Kellinka's house.

Wow. Tonight was fun. Let me start with after school.

After school, Kellinka and I went to visit Madame because we needed our fix, even if she was working. We didn't care. We started to talk to her when our blogs came up again. She read mine first and immediately saw the title "Madame is abusive." She broke out in a rage.

Madame: Pencil Case! You have to change this! You need to realize that stuff like this can get me in big trouble or even fired! You take it off right now!
Me: Okay, okay. Sheesh!

As I was logging in to the blogger.com homepage to change the entry, I accidentally divulged my password to Madame and Kellinka. I am not telling you what it is, nut I will tell you that it rhymes with buffy. Madame instantly thought of "buffy" at the sight of my password, which lead into this classic moment in Madame history:

Madame: Wow. Buffy. Like the wampire slayer.
Kellinka: Madame. You mean vampire?
Madame: Oh, yes. Vampire slayer. But you need to tell me because I always forget, is her name Buffy or Duffy?
Me: Buffy, Madame.

I proceeded to change the title from "Madame is abusive" to "Madame is not abusive in the slightest." It defeats the purpose of the entry, but what do you expect me to do? After all, it is Madame! When I was finished, we went to visit Kellinka's blog. Madame was appalled when she saw the alias, "G-Dawg."

Madame: What is this I see about a G-Dawg?
Kellinka: That is [name]'s alias.
Madame: Well, you better change it! G-Dawg is my name! My Honors French IV kids have called me G-Dawg for three years. G-Dawg is my name! Why don't you decide to call her K-Dawg?
Kellinka: K-Dawg is my nickname, though. It would be weird for me to type K-Dawg for someone else.
Madame: Well, do you not care about me? I get confused when I read the name G-Dawg and it is not referring to me. G-Dawg is my name, and because I do not have the power to change it, you better! Why not call her Spanish-Dawg or Forensics-Dawg or Girl-Dawg?

Kellinka sort of brushes Madame's concern off. It was at this moment when Frau comes into the room and Kellinka and I notice that we are twenty minutes late for the Forensics meeting (yes, with the now infamous, Girl-Dog.) After the remaining five minutes, Kellinka and I ran back into Madame's room. Madame was packing up for Frau to take her home when Kellinka was calling her Father. Frau was making funny and unusual faces which mad Kellinka laugh which led to Kellinka getting in trouble with her Father for laughing/talking. As Frau and Madame were leaving, Frau yelled, "No making out!" Thank you so much, Frausie Powsie. Kellinka and I broke into mad bean bag fight and abruptly stopped when we noticed that Frau forgot her lunchbox filled with a half eaten apple and a Tupperware container filled with a red jelly. Kellinka left short after, and I went to run over my dialogue for Forensics with Girl-Dawg. When we finish, I start to walk to my locker when Ellen and SingFreak tackle me and tell me to sing. I say no and proceed to walk to Madame's room to get my binder to study for exams. As I am leaving Madame's room, I draw on the board, "Qui? Madame est une la chete?" Right below it, I drew a kitty picture.

Sara then came to pick me up and drop me off at Kellinka's. When I got there, I had some water and we started watch Popular. After two fun filled episodes, we played Baulderdash! The last time I played this game was with Daf, NaNa and Arik, who is now going to college. It was just as much fun as ever. Seamstress and Sockittoya suck at being the Dasher, though. All the do is be little giggle pusses.

Kellinka's mother took us home, and I got sort of lost. I found out where we were instantly, though, so don't worry. I got home and this is where I am now. I guess because it is 12:55am, I should go to bed. See you tomorrow!

Beware! Flying Bean Bag Area!

Today was one of the better days in a while. Last night, Tom and Tony slept over because their parents, about a month ago in a state of drunkenness, power ordered tickets to Las Vegas and it has now caught up to them. They were both to sleep by 9:15pm, so it wasn't all that bad. We don't have to watch them until Sunday night, though. That is a good thing.

French was better today. As I walk into the room, while being blinded by an open window streaming in sunlight, at 7:43am:

Madame: Pencil Case, I do not hate you.
Me: Good. That is what I thought, but Kellinka told me otherwise.
Madame: If you transfer into Spanish, I will have to confiscate your French Club sweatshirt.
Me: Okay. Don't worry, I wont.

I then presented my dialogue again for half of the points I lost. This was also good because I raised my grade from a C- to a C+. I was pretty happy about that. After the bell rang and the class piled in, we all got a chance to review our vocab for ten minutes. I was working with Chelk, but I felt left out of the Kellinka-Sockittoya-Seamstress study group. I went over there to say hi for a couple of minutes. I noticed Paul, one of the conformists that took advantage of the "tsunami jeans day", had a Stein t-shirt on.

Me: Does Paul work at Stein Home Garden & Gifts?
Seamstress: Well, he used to. I love how you said the whole name including "Home Garden & Gifts."

The vocab study time was over and FFF was beginning. I, along with half of the class, noticed that Sockittoya had the Aladdin box in her hand. We started to aimlessly shout "Where is Home Alone?" and "We want to finish Home Alone!" Madame explained that Christmas was over, so there would be no more Christmas movie. We protested more. She finally told us that if we wanted to finish Home Alone that badly, we could. I snached a bean bag up and went to sit down in my seat. I noticed the bean bag served me no purpose what so ever, so I threw it on Kellinka's head. She was instantly pissed, and she shook her fist at me. Ohhhh, I am soooo scared! I better be nice to her, though, because tonight I am going over to her house to eat her mother's pasta. I am so very excited.

In Theology, my row presented our presentation. We, I should say I because I was the only one who actually worked, pleased the Frater with our job well done.

At Lunch, Pam and Daf rushed to Student Services to fix their schedule for next semester, Abby went to sit by some other people, and Nate, Candy, and I sat and ate. Kellinka scooped me up to go wander the halls. We first went to the library. The librarian yelled at us for being here during our lunch time. We then went to visit Madame, but she was busy so we didn't stay.

Me: Why are all of the teachers busy?
Kellinka: [Sarcastically] Well, let's see, it is their job!

We then went to visit Mrs. Schmidt to see if I had practice tonight. I don't. While in Mrs. Schmidt's room, Kellinka and I bursted into random laughter after seeing a choir/band note board filled with, "hee hee ho ho ho ha hee ho ho hee ha." As we were walking to the auditorium, I attempted to kick Kellinka, but failed. This resulted in Kellinka pointing at me and yelling "ABUSE! ABUSE!" Mr. Brooker looked at us in a panic striken way and I said, "She is kidding." He then looked at Kellinka and said, "Are you kidding?" Kellinka said yes, and then we laughed as Mr. Brooker walked away with his head shaking. We then went to Public Performance. It was quite possibly one of the more stupid things I had ever seen. I didn't even break a chuckle. It was stupid. I went back into the cafeteria to donate money to get a hand. On the hand, I wrote, "Pencil Case (Benjamashka) Last Name." Yes, It was funny. It kind of an inside joke, but still funny.

Now I am here in the library typing away. I will blog later to tell you how Kellinka's house was.

Chelk: I can't believe I said Bobby Frau!
Kellinka: It was Billy Frau, Chelk. You are so retarded.
Chelk: Hey!?!

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Madame is not abusive in the slightest.

Today was highly entertaining, sad, happy, funny, and depressing all at the same time. On the way out this morning, Mother's car had a big pile of fluffy snow on the hood. Probably a foot high. She had to look over it to see the road as we were on our way to Daf's house to pick her up for school. Daf couldn't stop laughing when she saw the pile. It wasn't long before a funky burning rubber smell lingered about the car. Mother decided the smell was being caused by the blockage of exterior ventilation caused by the pile of snow. Daf offered to scrape it off, but Mother insisted I "be the man" and do it. I agreed, not wanting to get into a Mother/Pencil Case fight. I scraped it off, but whilst in the process, I got filled to the brim with powdery, cold snow.

Next, French. Kellinka had a shadow/cousin, Maita. She is pretty cool. I like her hair despite the fact that Dickson does not. Today in first period, the announcement went out that we would be selling hot chocolate and handprints for the benefit of the tsunami victims. During the announcement, I was at the board attempting to translate the question, "You have Coke?" Apparently, I screwed up the articles of the noun "coca." Madame told me to erase it. Not the articles of coca, just it. I then erased the whole sentence, and by doing so, Madame screamed a very loud "Noooooo!" as she slammed her head on the desk. Wow, can we say "overreacted?" I apologized, and did the sentence all over again. As I finally got it right, Madame threatened to move me to the "Learning T," which is the front and middle row. She claims that, by sitting in these select seats, you get better grades. All I know is, is that I am not moving. Kellinka, also during French, decided my binder was not complete. Just because I don't have the majority of the Chapter 4 and 5 vocabulary doesn't mean that I don't try. Got it, Kellinka?

In Theology, we did this group project where your row wrote about a specific book in the Bible. My group, possibly the most un-motivated students in the Frosh class, got stuck with "The Acts of the Apostles." I finish in, roughly, four minutes. I gave it to them, told them to slap our names on it, and hand it in. I just didn't want an F for the day.

At Lunch, Kellinka, Maita, and I went to get a NDA t-shirt for Maita from Mrs. Smile. Apparently, the free t-shirt was for being a shadow. I was naturally upset.

Me: Why did I never get a free t-shirt for shadowing?
Mrs. Smile: [Has that "I don't remember you shadowing... Ever" look on her face] Really? When did you shadow?
Me: Oh. I didn't.

For the remaining ten minutes of Lunch, we went to visit Madame. Big mistake. She was crabby or something. All I did was:
*Sketch a portrait of Madame on the white board.
*Tell her to smell a very wonderful blueberry scented marker.
*Patted her on the head for being a good girl.
*Gave her a few high fives.
*Tried to apologize for being annoying, but Kellinka shoved me and told her sorry first.

I tried to give Madame another high five after I thought we were friends again, but in a very sinful retaliation move, hit me in the arm with a French hatbox. I ran out of the room, with a very sore arm mind you, and started back down toward the cafeteria. Kellinka stopped me, though, and said that Madame accepted her apology, and told her to keep me away, but for her to keep on visiting. My feelings were instantly hurt, and I was instantly depressed.

During Study Hall, I wrote Madame an e-mail telling her how, in an effort to stop my annoyance, I will transfer into Spanish at the turn of the semester. I also wrote one to Kellinka saying pretty much the same thing. The funny part of this period, though, is Kayleigh telling me that she was skipping Geo./Trig to hang in the library. The librarian eventually kicked her out.

During PE, I was still very sad about Madame and I's friendship ending. I was sulky the whole time, and brushed off comments thrown by Kellinka and Chelk about how I can't switch out of French. They kind of talked me into it, but it would come at a price. I wanted to her hear Kellinka oink like a pig in labor again. This time in a French accent. She did, so I guess I can't transfer out.

At the end of the day, I went with Seamstress to Madame's room to get her Français sweater. Madame told me that she received the e-mail, and that replied.

When I got off of the bus at my stop after I left school, I slipped and fell on the ice. It hurt. When I got home, Kellinka tried to convince me online that Madame does not hate me, and that she is just stressed about exam week. I'll see if Madame says sorry tomorrow.

Talk to you guys soon.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The Tramp, Billy Frau, and a very un-cultured American named Supermodel.

Kellinka and Madame are two of the most insane people that have ever graced me with their presence. Seriously. No joke. This morning in Français, our dialogues were due to be performed. Yes, Madame is back. Anyway, everybody performed their dialogues with the exception of my group and Max Reynolds' group. Of course, without question, Madame chose my group to go first. You see, all of the groups before us had the memorization down pat. So did my group, but not me. I basically skipped all of my lines, made things up, and I even ran out of the room with embarrassment at one point. Apparently, Madame thought the "run away" was actually in the dialogue and that I was chasing the waiter. Little did she know. She allowed us to start over to have it make more sense. Same thing. I rattled off all the things I wanted to order, I made things up, and I (yet again) made an ass out of myself. Madame thought is was funny though.

Madame: Pencil Case, you left out the best part! You didn't tell everybody that you were on a diet! I thought that was the best!
Me: I was supposed to say I was on a diet?!
Madame: Yes. You should know... You wrote it!
Me: Nuh-uh. DD wrote it. I had no idea about what it meant.
Madame: Well, still. You should know what you are saying.
Me: Now, how do you expect me to read the sentences? They are in French.

In the end, we got the offer to redo it for up to half of the points that we lost added to our score, and Max's group got the better offer. They talked her into letting them perform tomorrow. Damnation.

In English, we once again formed with the Fratter's third hour class. I read my part in the four person play, and I came to realize that my name was "The Tramp." Perrrrrr-fect.

At lunch, Daf stuck (at least) sixteen pretzel sticks in her lips. Mr. Brooker and Brazeau watched with much enjoyment.

Brazeau: Who needs Public performance when you have Daf?

Yes. That is something you, at times, want to hear from a teacher. Also during lunch, Kellinka and I once again went to visit Madame.

Madame: Hello my peeps. What can I do for you?
Me: You have to read my new blog entry!
Madame: Okay. [Reads blog] What? Haha! How did you figure out about the name French Frye?
Kellinka: Sockittoya told us. I think.
Madame: I still don't get why you two find me so interesting. When I read your blog, Kellinka, the first word I saw was "Pink Eye." I was gone for one day, and right away you know where I am. That is creepy.
Me: We're not stalkers! I promise!
Madame: Good. I believe you. Oh, look! Cow. I hope that is not me!

During PE, Supermodel was being super annoying and very American-ish.

Kellinka: Supermodel, you need to be more cultured.
Supermodel: Cultured?
Kellinka: You know! Like, you need to experience different lands, eat different foods, and just be open minded.
Supermodel: Fine! I'll just go talk to Jai.
Kellinka: Who is Jai?
Supermodel: The culture guru from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He can teach me all I need to know. Didn't you ever see that... [Gets cut off by Kellinka.]
Kellinka: That is pop culture, loser. He buys Broadway musical tickets for guys and their girlfriends, teaches guys to play instruments, and tells guys how to be more outgoing. It is pop culture! Not culture! They are two very different things.
Supermodel: Well, then, how come whenever his name pops up on the screen it says culture?
Kellinka: Because the producers want to make it easy on stupid mid-westerners like you.
Supermodel: Oh.

That is my day so far. Tonight I have to go sing for Mrs. Schmidt. I'll have fun, I am sure of it. Maybe tonight I will have my first poparazzi experience. Right Madame?

Kellinka to Chelk: So, apparently if you say Billy Young to Frau, she will melt.
Chelk: Who is Billy Frau?

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

One Madame > 10,000,000 French Fryes.

Yesterday after school, Kellinka and I stayed after in Madame's room... By ourselves. We wrote her a note and reproduced the "Snotty Tissue Board."

Kellinka and I: Can we stay after in your room to hang out? We promise to not mess anything up!
Madame: Sure, I guess, but no making out.

Oh, yes. Thank you Madame. As Kellinka wrote the note, I wandered aimlessly around the room. As I did so, I found a copy of PowerChess 98, a sample of Madame's writing, and two huge boxes of French Club hoodies. I went on my way home at 4:12pm as Kellinka was left behind.

Today, like always, was strange in its own way. This morning, Kellinka and I sat by Madame's locked door waiting for her to arrive so that we can observe her reaction as she reads our uber long note and recreation of the "Snotty Tissue Board." As we see a teacher like figure down the hall, we instantly assume that it is Madame. No such luck. It is French Frye, our regular French substitute. We quick run into the room after French Frye opens the door to take down our so called "decorations/posters." We hid them in a vacant locker and latch it up so no one will even think of stealing them. We run to Frau to see why we are being taken over by French Frye for the French hour.

Frau: Katarina (Madame's daughter) is home sick with pink eye. When you have pink eye, you can't leave the house. In Madame's case, her eighteen month old daughter has it, so she is stuck.
Me: Ohhhh. [Quickly] Madame wannabe!

I then run out of Frau's room in my flailing way thinking I had just been hilarious. During French, we came to find out that because Madame was not there, we did not have to present our dialogues. Yes! I was so very happy. I do not have the mandatory rule of memorization down on it yet. We corrected our exercises, and then we continued that movie about that nutty British guy. The name of it, by the way, is Lonely Planet. The title makes no sence, seeing as how he eats and eating has nothing to do with being lonely. In this fascinating episode, the man ate fresh caviar, guinea pig, and guts of some sort. Oh yes, and an eyeball. Raw. After class, Kellinka thought I was depressed, so she told me to say "Billy Young" to Frau in hopes of seeing Frau, and I quote, melt. I guess this Billy Young person was Frau's crush for the longest time, and whenever the name is spoken, she breaks down in regret of never capturing him. When I told her the name, though, she didn't seem as enthused. Actually, she didn't know who he even was.

Theology was not much fun because we STILL didn't get our grades back from, like, two months ago. Damn that Fratter. Just kidding. He knows I spoil him.

At lunch, I was approached by Brownie because she wants me to be a character in tomorrows skit. I said yes and went to look for Molly, Logan, and FB (the other actors desired to agree to Brownie.) Also, I went to Student Services for a sec when I was confronted by Cow.

Cow: Hey. Sorry about all of the fighting stuff. Just because I was mad at Chelk didn't mean I had to screw you over.
Me: Well, whatever.

During PE, We played volleyball. It was like awaking a bad memory. I swear, our class is SO IMMATURE!! The whole time, I watched FB do his "moves" from the musical. Talk about boring. On the way out of PE, Kellinka started this:

Kellinka: You know, Madame's husband is named Darryl. Isn't that funny? Those names clash so bad.
Me: Yes. Madame and Darryl. Very funny.

I went to the rest of my classes and had an okay rest of the day. After school, Kellinka and I went to see Frau once again.

Kellinka: Is Billy Young a Russian figure skater?
Frau: Um, no. He was not a Russian figure skater, he was a Russian gymnast. Madame is all screwed up on that because someone's probably been feeding her too much borscht.

On the bus, I noticed that Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver had gotten a haircut. Most likely because there was too much gum at the roots.

Monday, January 03, 2005

Back to school to find a Frau clone.

Hello. I am much less sad than yesterday. It is great not being so depressed. My flight home was not so bad. I was on AA flight 3537 with non-stop service to Milwaukee departing at 6:42pm from Dallas/Fort Worth. Due to a lost aircraft, though, we departed twenty-two minutes later than scheduled. It wasn't so bad. I sat next to a lady named Jane who was reading a book about a lady who had a near death experience. I told her I would read it when I got home. Yeah right. I wasn't thinking. I landed at 9:42 in Milwaukee to find Mother and Sara there waiting for me. On the way home, [ughh... two hours and ten minutes] we stopped at McDonalds to get a drink. I slurped it up and we were home before I knew it. I went to bed right away to get charged for school this morning.

The first hour was, as normal, French. I walk into the room to find Madame in her chair by her desk with a short haircut and a new hair color, brown. I think Frau is slowly turning Madame into a clone of her. Great. That is all we need, another Frau. Just kidding. I love Frau. For all of you perverts out there, don't take that the wrong way. The first thing Madame says to me is:

Madame: Pencil Case, is it true that you will be leaving us next year?
Me: No! Where did you hear that from? It was Kellinka, wasn't it? All I said to her was, "Kellinka, I might move to Colorado next year." It was a joke! God, Kellinka can't take jokes well. No. I am not moving.
Madame (ignoring everything I had just said): Well, see, if you do move, we will keep in touch, but at the same time I wonder why you would leave right when you get into the popular crowd.
Me: I'm not moving!
Madame: I hope it works to our advantage, though, you know, by you not leaving.
Sockittoya: You're moving and you didn't tell us? You dick!
Me: I'm not moving!

During French we watched Madame's "favorite show." It was about this nutty British guy who went around the world to eat food. Don't ask.

Theology was grand as normal. The Frater was in a "bad mood" because his friend moved away. He made it clear that it wasn't us who was pissing him off. Yeah right. Why does he lie?

At lunch; Candy, Daf, Pam, Nate, and I went to Mr. N to talk yet again. We talked. It was good for us, you know, to get things off of our chest. Walking to the Library (where I am now,) Candy and I ate roughly seventeen Hershey Kisses each.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Sitting in the middle of DFW, and I miss Father very much.

Well, I am no longer in wonderful Colorado. In fact, at the moment, I am in DFW airport waiting for my connecting flight. It was very sad leaving Father, Wado, Tanya, Leli, LC, Tay-Tay, Auntie Cindy, and the rest of the family. I cried my eyes out, and I still am sad. It sucks.

I don't have much to type seeing as how I am on a Neptune internet Access Station in the middle of gate C26. I have 13:22 left. I will blog more tomorrow when I do have more time.

God, I am sad.

:: Sob. Boo-hoo. Sob. Boo-hoo. ::

I will tell about my trip home tomorrow.

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