Thursday, January 13, 2005

Exams. I hate exams.: Part Deux of Three.

Wow. I am not even joking when I say this, but I HATE EXAMS! God. I really, really do. Here's the day:

Third Period - Honors Freshman English: We got into class and sat down. Normal class so far, but today it was the first class so everybody was tired... Very tired. Brownie started to explain the test and what was what. While she was explaining, her lip started to bleed from being chapped. She started making jokes with Conard about how her lip was "gushing blood." I don't know. I didn't find it that funny. She then gave us a short story that was to be read as part of the exam. It was about something like a guy who was a barber, and he was tempted to kill a customer of his with a shaving blade. It was rather entertaining, actually. I completed the exam which was pretty much all vocab. But I finished it right down to the wire, though. The bell rang and off I went. Period three, over.

Fourth Period - World History: This exam was by far the one I had been dreading the most. This class has been a struggle for me all year, so, naturally, I pretty much had no self confidence. Abby and I walked into the room about five minutes early and got to talking about her and Daf's "friendship."

Abby: You know, Pencil Case, I have heard that Daf has been talking about me in bad way behind my back.
Me: Yes. She has. Everybody has. Abby, you need to realize that you bring the hate upon yourself. If you piss people off, what do you think is going to happen?
Abby: All I know is, is that I am going to kill Daf if she doesn't talk to me personally and not behind my back. I will literally kick her f**king ass! She is such a bitch.

I walked away, not wanting to get any further into this ugly conversation. The bell rang and Brazeau gave us the test without hesitation. Once I saw it, I was not really worried about it as much. In fact, it was pretty easy. I zipped through it and handed it in. I then asked to "go to the bathroom" which really translates to "stop in the commons to see Sockittoya and then go to the bathroom." I talked to her for a bit, and then I went back to the dead silent classroom. I took out Poddington and started to listen. Yes, Brazeau said it was okay. The bell rang, and off I went to the commons. Fourth period is done.

Fifth Period - Study Hall: YES! OH YEAH! EXAMS ARE DONE FOR TODAY! I have one left... Math. But that is tomorrow, so I don't need to worry yet. This was the most fun part of the whole day. It started when Seamstress and I ditched Kellinka in the hall, and she had to go to Algebra. Haha. We were done, so we didn't care. When we got into the commons, we decided we were hungry, so I got a bagel with strawberry cream cheese. It was delicious. Seamstress and The Little Mermaid got a kick out of watching me spread the cream cheese, though. Apparently, I "pet" the bagel with the knife. Whatever. Anyway, Seamstress and I got hungry again, so we went to buy stuff from the vending machines. We decide to each get a bag of different chips, and we would share. I was first. I got Munchos. Seamstress, with my opinion in her head, got Cheddar Fries. As she was pulling hers out of the machine, though, the bag broke and all of the previously yummy Cheddar Fries were spilled all over the floor. Hilly made her pick them up, and we ended up just sharing my delicious... Munchos. We were done, and we went to go sit by Supermodel to mooch thirty cents off of her. She gave it to us, and then she text messaged her sister and told her that she was done. A button in my head instantly went off, and I asked her if I could text message her sister. She said yes, and gave me the phone. Little did she know of my evil text messaging past. I wouldn't let her look at it until it was already sent. I wrote, "Supermodel has a 18 year old boyfriend," and sent it to her sister. Her sister replies with a simple "WHAT?!?!" Supermodel then called her sister, and said it was just me being stupid. It sounded, though, as if her sister needed some convincing. After the Supermodel thing was over, Seamstress and I went to the library. Period five is over and done with.

After school, though, was very hilarious. You see, I was hanging with Madame again so I was very funny. Kellinka, Snip, and I went to visit Madame after I got my picture taken for The Tritonian with Schott for the musical. Anyway, we went up to her room to say hi. She was helping someone with a test so she really couldn't talk much at that moment, so I decided to wait for her to finish. Just as the student got done and Madame would be free, Kellinka had to leave to catch her bus. As much as I wanted her to stay, she had to leave. Snip and I were praying for her to miss her bus or slip and fall on some black ice. No such luck. She caught her bus, and Snip and I were left with Madame. Enter Frau and another foreign language teacher I have never seen before.

Frau: So, Madame, where do you want to go eat? Chef Chow's?
Madame: Frau. We ate at Chef Chow's the past three days! I want a new place!
Frau: Well, let's see, if you are the only one protetsting against Chef Chow's then you need to have an alternate plan. I mean every place we pick, you hate. Like The Olive Garden.
Madame: Uggh. Why do you have to bring up The Olive Garden? I have an alternate plan for your information!
Frau: What is it then? Go ahead, spit it out.
Madame: It might be nice to try that new rib place over by the mall.
Frau: You mean Smokey Bones? It can't be The Roadhouse because you hate that place, too.
Madame: Yes. The Roadhouse is too "American." Yes! Smokey Bones sounds good! Let's go there.
Frau: Ugggh.
Madame: Fine! If you want us to go to Chef Chow's, we will! Is there nothing else besides Chef Chow's, The Olive Garden, The Roadhouse, and Smokey Bones? I mean, come on! How about Moe's? That place sounds good. [Long pause] Nevermind. I really wouldn't like Moe's.
Frau: God, Madame! [Sarcastically] No. There is only four restaurants in Green Bay. I don't care! Let's go to Smokey Bones!
Madame: Good! Yay! I am glad this is settled!
Me: [Trying to change the subject] So, Frau, do you speak fluent German?
Madame: [Butting in] That would be a definite yes. She speaks and teaches the language, what do you think?
Frau: Was he talking to you, Madame? Yes. I speak fluent German.
Me: Cool! Say something very long and complicated.
Madame: Yes, Frau. Do it! Say, "My best friend, Madame, and I are going to to eat at Smokey Bones, we are going to order blah, blah, blah."
Frau: [Something that involves a lot of "ich"'s and has the words "Chef Chow's" mixed in.]
Madame: WHAT?!?! We are not going to Chef Chow's! Get it together, woman.
Frau: God. Don't get so upset. I just used Chef Chow's as an example.
Madame: Oh. Sorry, then.

The subject then changes very fast for no reason after they get done talking about passport holders for the Eurotrip being leather or a cheap fabric. Frau states that only cows and furniture are meant to be leather.

Madame: You will never believe this, I went to wash my daughters underwear last night, and she wouldn't let me. It is so weird. She has a favorite pair one day, and she will hate them the next day!
Frau: Yeah, well, my God-daughter, Sasha, pees all over her floor. I went to look in her training potty, and I saw piddle. I told her "Good job!" but then I went to her room, and she was peeing on the carpet.
Madame: Yeah. That happens.
Frau: Well at least she doesn't run around naked like your daughter!
Madame: Yes, well, the only reason she runs around naked for is so that she can change her underwear. You know, from her favorite to her new favorite. She won't even go potty with her favorite ones on because she is afraid of getting them dirty. Like yesterday. She says, "Mummy. No, no, no! No puppy!" Which means she doesn't want to wear her puppy underwear to go pee. Bear underwear, yes, she wouldn't mind getting those dirty, but not the puppy ones. No way.
Frau: Wow. Oh! Well, look at the time. We better get going. Smokey Bones is waiting for us.

Frau and Weird Teacher exit, leaving Madame, Snip, and I.

Madame: Well, I am feeling peer pressured to leave.
Snip and I: Okay. We will see you tomorrow.

Madame and Frau head off after Frau states that her classroom is a magnet, and how she converts Frenchies to Germanies behind Madame's back. I go to my locker to get my things, and then head downstairs only to see Madame and Frau again.

Madame: Hello again, my peep Pencil Case. Now, tell me what you think about the color of Frau's new purse.

Frau shows her purse, and reveals that it is an army green bag.

Me: Wow. It looks... [I get cut off by Madame]
Madame: Come on, Pencil Case! You will not hurt her feelings!
Me: It looks like pea soup.
Madame: Okay, neat-o. Bye!

Madame and Frau leave in a rush, leaving Snip and I in the atrium all alone.

See you all tomorrow with Part Three of "Exams. I hate exams."


At 2:02 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

That was a very funny entry.


At 2:30 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

Okay, that's so funny, but I'm still pissed that I missed it.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Van Chelsing said...

HAHAHA. Oh boy, Ben. That is the funniest thing I've heard, well, ever.

Those cheddar fries were everywhere. That was horrible.

At 9:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

*is dead from laughing*


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