Tuesday, January 25, 2005

I really can't drink cowwy milk.

Why do French homework assignments have to be so goddamn tricky? Okay, last night, the book gave us about four pictures to give a noun to. The first three were mildly easy, but not the fourth. You see, it was a picture that resembled , and don't ask me why because I have no clue why this was said, a "mona pear"/moldy ham. Being the Pencil Case I am, I put down that it was la tante, French for aunt. Madame was convinced I had the right answer when the same question was on the exam, so she gave me full credit. The class and Madame then went on to discuss about the most random topic, milk.

Madame: Serious, kids, don't you think that different brands of milk taste different? I like the IGA brand, but not Kemps. I guess you could say that Kemps tastes too much like cows. It is too cowwy.

This befunkled statement dropped this conversation, but like always, led into something totally different. Mustard/Ketchup packets.

Madame: So, who can tell me what mustard comes in and where you buy it?
Seamstress: Those little packets that you get at Burger King and stuff. Hey, they're free.
Madame: Mustard does not come in those little packets. What else does it come in?
Seamstress: Yes, it does!
Me: Here. Let's settle this. Ask Kayleigh! She works at McDonalds!
Seamstress: Yeah!
Kayleigh: Wow. Thanks, Pencil Case.
Madame: So, Kayleigh, what is the deal?
Kayleigh: You actually have to start paying for them after a certain amount.
Me: People actually just take them?
Kayleigh: Yes. You would be quite surprised. Some people just come in and take handfuls of them and leave.
Madame: Well, some people just like to rip the tops off of little packets, and squeeze the contents into a bottle. Everybody has their hobbies, I guess.

I laughed so hard. It was, seriously, one of the funniest Madame moments in all of history.

In lunch, you will never believe what happened! WE GOT OUR TABLE BACK! Yes, you heard me right! As far as my knowledge goes, the senior boys that were the table nazis have moved into the meeting room for the remainder of the lunches. If they come back, I won't be too surprised, but I am happy for the time being.

In Art, Barbie came with another ditzy remark.

Artsie Tartsie: [Painting an example of we will be doing next, and then asking what we thought of it] So, what do you think? Does this look more yellow or violet?
The class minus Barbie: [Random but confident "Yellow"'s and "Violet"'s.]
Barbie: I would have to say that is is a good brown.

I would bet that she is more ditzy than a marijuana stricken Paris Hilton.

The phone-a-thon was a big success. I hope I was the top money maker for the French Club's shift. I wouldn't be surprised if I was, seeing as how Seamstress, Kellinka and Sockittoya all called me a "sleazy used car salesman." I guess I actually did reach that point when I started to call alumni of NDA that were pushing ninety by their nickname (eg. Thomas would be turned into Tom) or "Dude." I did have this really nice old lady named Phyllis who sang to me. Right after the over the phone concert, though, Kellinka whapped me in the head with a phone. It really did hurt like hell. After the , as Bloomy so puts it, "FUN-a thon," I went to sing with Mrs. Schmidt with the pit orchestra for the first time. I told Mrs. Schmidt that they were "totally radical to the max" while wearing my 1980s style sunglasses I had earned during the phone-a-thon.


At 11:48 AM, Blogger Kellinka said...

Haha, yes, and there was the time where I made you laugh in the middle of a phone call. And "Hello, this is Ned Schneebly."

At 12:05 PM, Blogger Van Chelsing said...

Hey Benjamin. You should be a phonathon guy for EVERYTHING. Like you should do the CP telethon. Or sell cars. Or maybe both. And the sunglasses were uber hot.


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