Tuesday, January 04, 2005

One Madame > 10,000,000 French Fryes.

Yesterday after school, Kellinka and I stayed after in Madame's room... By ourselves. We wrote her a note and reproduced the "Snotty Tissue Board."

Kellinka and I: Can we stay after in your room to hang out? We promise to not mess anything up!
Madame: Sure, I guess, but no making out.

Oh, yes. Thank you Madame. As Kellinka wrote the note, I wandered aimlessly around the room. As I did so, I found a copy of PowerChess 98, a sample of Madame's writing, and two huge boxes of French Club hoodies. I went on my way home at 4:12pm as Kellinka was left behind.

Today, like always, was strange in its own way. This morning, Kellinka and I sat by Madame's locked door waiting for her to arrive so that we can observe her reaction as she reads our uber long note and recreation of the "Snotty Tissue Board." As we see a teacher like figure down the hall, we instantly assume that it is Madame. No such luck. It is French Frye, our regular French substitute. We quick run into the room after French Frye opens the door to take down our so called "decorations/posters." We hid them in a vacant locker and latch it up so no one will even think of stealing them. We run to Frau to see why we are being taken over by French Frye for the French hour.

Frau: Katarina (Madame's daughter) is home sick with pink eye. When you have pink eye, you can't leave the house. In Madame's case, her eighteen month old daughter has it, so she is stuck.
Me: Ohhhh. [Quickly] Madame wannabe!

I then run out of Frau's room in my flailing way thinking I had just been hilarious. During French, we came to find out that because Madame was not there, we did not have to present our dialogues. Yes! I was so very happy. I do not have the mandatory rule of memorization down on it yet. We corrected our exercises, and then we continued that movie about that nutty British guy. The name of it, by the way, is Lonely Planet. The title makes no sence, seeing as how he eats and eating has nothing to do with being lonely. In this fascinating episode, the man ate fresh caviar, guinea pig, and guts of some sort. Oh yes, and an eyeball. Raw. After class, Kellinka thought I was depressed, so she told me to say "Billy Young" to Frau in hopes of seeing Frau, and I quote, melt. I guess this Billy Young person was Frau's crush for the longest time, and whenever the name is spoken, she breaks down in regret of never capturing him. When I told her the name, though, she didn't seem as enthused. Actually, she didn't know who he even was.

Theology was not much fun because we STILL didn't get our grades back from, like, two months ago. Damn that Fratter. Just kidding. He knows I spoil him.

At lunch, I was approached by Brownie because she wants me to be a character in tomorrows skit. I said yes and went to look for Molly, Logan, and FB (the other actors desired to agree to Brownie.) Also, I went to Student Services for a sec when I was confronted by Cow.

Cow: Hey. Sorry about all of the fighting stuff. Just because I was mad at Chelk didn't mean I had to screw you over.
Me: Well, whatever.

During PE, We played volleyball. It was like awaking a bad memory. I swear, our class is SO IMMATURE!! The whole time, I watched FB do his "moves" from the musical. Talk about boring. On the way out of PE, Kellinka started this:

Kellinka: You know, Madame's husband is named Darryl. Isn't that funny? Those names clash so bad.
Me: Yes. Madame and Darryl. Very funny.

I went to the rest of my classes and had an okay rest of the day. After school, Kellinka and I went to see Frau once again.

Kellinka: Is Billy Young a Russian figure skater?
Frau: Um, no. He was not a Russian figure skater, he was a Russian gymnast. Madame is all screwed up on that because someone's probably been feeding her too much borscht.

On the bus, I noticed that Crazy Lasagna Loving Bus Driver had gotten a haircut. Most likely because there was too much gum at the roots.


At 4:32 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

You didn't "find" two boxes of French club hoodies, they were out in the open. Plus, you couldn't even carry one of the boxes more than an inch.

The things we said about Madame in the second-to-last quote look retarded because we don't use her first name, by the way.

That said, now Madame will read this and understand how boring we get when she is not around.

At 11:30 AM, Blogger Van Chelsing said...

I don't think French Frye should EVER sub again. She's so boring. But nobody compares to Madame. But wouldn't it have been cool if we would have kidnapped Frau and made her tell us Jedi stories? wow.

You are cool, Ben. Good job in English today Tramp. Poopsie.


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