Wednesday, January 05, 2005

The Tramp, Billy Frau, and a very un-cultured American named Supermodel.

Kellinka and Madame are two of the most insane people that have ever graced me with their presence. Seriously. No joke. This morning in Fran├žais, our dialogues were due to be performed. Yes, Madame is back. Anyway, everybody performed their dialogues with the exception of my group and Max Reynolds' group. Of course, without question, Madame chose my group to go first. You see, all of the groups before us had the memorization down pat. So did my group, but not me. I basically skipped all of my lines, made things up, and I even ran out of the room with embarrassment at one point. Apparently, Madame thought the "run away" was actually in the dialogue and that I was chasing the waiter. Little did she know. She allowed us to start over to have it make more sense. Same thing. I rattled off all the things I wanted to order, I made things up, and I (yet again) made an ass out of myself. Madame thought is was funny though.

Madame: Pencil Case, you left out the best part! You didn't tell everybody that you were on a diet! I thought that was the best!
Me: I was supposed to say I was on a diet?!
Madame: Yes. You should know... You wrote it!
Me: Nuh-uh. DD wrote it. I had no idea about what it meant.
Madame: Well, still. You should know what you are saying.
Me: Now, how do you expect me to read the sentences? They are in French.

In the end, we got the offer to redo it for up to half of the points that we lost added to our score, and Max's group got the better offer. They talked her into letting them perform tomorrow. Damnation.

In English, we once again formed with the Fratter's third hour class. I read my part in the four person play, and I came to realize that my name was "The Tramp." Perrrrrr-fect.

At lunch, Daf stuck (at least) sixteen pretzel sticks in her lips. Mr. Brooker and Brazeau watched with much enjoyment.

Brazeau: Who needs Public performance when you have Daf?

Yes. That is something you, at times, want to hear from a teacher. Also during lunch, Kellinka and I once again went to visit Madame.

Madame: Hello my peeps. What can I do for you?
Me: You have to read my new blog entry!
Madame: Okay. [Reads blog] What? Haha! How did you figure out about the name French Frye?
Kellinka: Sockittoya told us. I think.
Madame: I still don't get why you two find me so interesting. When I read your blog, Kellinka, the first word I saw was "Pink Eye." I was gone for one day, and right away you know where I am. That is creepy.
Me: We're not stalkers! I promise!
Madame: Good. I believe you. Oh, look! Cow. I hope that is not me!

During PE, Supermodel was being super annoying and very American-ish.

Kellinka: Supermodel, you need to be more cultured.
Supermodel: Cultured?
Kellinka: You know! Like, you need to experience different lands, eat different foods, and just be open minded.
Supermodel: Fine! I'll just go talk to Jai.
Kellinka: Who is Jai?
Supermodel: The culture guru from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. He can teach me all I need to know. Didn't you ever see that... [Gets cut off by Kellinka.]
Kellinka: That is pop culture, loser. He buys Broadway musical tickets for guys and their girlfriends, teaches guys to play instruments, and tells guys how to be more outgoing. It is pop culture! Not culture! They are two very different things.
Supermodel: Well, then, how come whenever his name pops up on the screen it says culture?
Kellinka: Because the producers want to make it easy on stupid mid-westerners like you.
Supermodel: Oh.

That is my day so far. Tonight I have to go sing for Mrs. Schmidt. I'll have fun, I am sure of it. Maybe tonight I will have my first poparazzi experience. Right Madame?

Kellinka to Chelk: So, apparently if you say Billy Young to Frau, she will melt.
Chelk: Who is Billy Frau?

5 Comments:

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

You ARE a tramp. Visiting Madame today was so funny. "Cow?! I hope that's not me!"

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

I am so glad you edited this entry to encompass my culture lecture. So funny. And then she pronounced Porsche wrong, proving her true identity of an uncultured Midwesterner for all of time.

 
At 9:12 PM, Blogger the girl king said...

ben, i love you. even though you messed up my hair.

this is brigid. i dont think i've ever written in this blog, though.

and whoever supermodel is, she may sadly be in my group of friends due to the main fact that most of the people i hang out with think they are very cool and that i am smart because i can read. and um, they are actually not very cool because
A.) they can't read good books like "the good earth" by pearl s buck because of the long words.
B.) they are all in spanglish.
and C.) they think that blond hair makes every one pretty. um, no, i would look like monster if i had blonde hair.

and btw, you did a good trampy job as judas and your hair looked kind of silver. of course, i told mac this morning that her skin looked green. but i don't think she heard me.

and this is a really long comment and i still can't remember your IM handle.

 
At 11:33 AM, Blogger Van Chelsing said...

Hey my peep. Supermodel is so dumb and uncultured it almost hurts my brain to think about it. Good job Tramp, you make us proud.

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

Pencil Case, when I come to your study hall and see you haven't updated, well, it makes the Baby Jesus cry.

 

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