Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Rape List.

Ohmigod. Tonight was hilarious. First, the title. At first glance, the title, The Rape List, is very unappealing, but no. It is very funny and has a great story to tell. You see, tonight I went with my friends, Sockittoya, Emily and Katie to the new movie Red Eye. It was really good and I recommend it, but that was NOT the highlight of the night. What was, though, is the list of special, crazy encounters that took place through the night. The list goes as follows:

1: The Driveway: When the gang came to pick me up at 9:02pm for a 9:25 showing, they tried to pull into my driveway, but were unsuccessful. They said it was "the littlest driveway on the earth."
2: The Drug Bust: As we were going down Oneida to get to the theatre we witnessed a "drug bust." it was right past Walgreens and there were two cop cars and a group of kids sitting outside smoking. According to Katie, the group was a short Hispanic guy, a tough black guy and a slutty white chick.
3: Five Year Old Singer: In the car still, we were listening to Wicked. Well, the actress who plays Glinda, Kristin Chenoweth, has a different sounding voice. Not bad, but different. Because the sound of her voice, Katie says she is five.

Sockittoya: I love "Defying Gravity!"
Katie: The singer sounds five.
Sockittoya: She is good!
Katie: She is five.

4: 2mph Drivers: Still in the car, we were held up by a group of old women in a car that were driving 2mph in a 30 zone.
5: Lack Of Dip: So, as we were finally turning into the the theatre parking lot, claps emerged from the car. Apparently a large dip has been removed from the road that has been known to hurt cars.

Katie: I always hated that dip! I always wanted to say, "You pay for that damage, Marcus Cinema!"

6: Kara Is A No Show: When we get to the theatre, Kara is supposed to meet us there. We waited until the previews to wait for her, but she never showed. I guess her uncle had a stroke and she couldn't make it. Totally understandable.
7: Floor Games: After the movie, in the lobby, there was this screen being projected onto the floor that showed a bucket of popcorn. If you step on it, the popcorn flies. It is cool. Everyone should have one.
8: Lesbians?: Walking out of the theatre, Katie spotted two girls walking with their hands on each other's asses. We debated on whether it was a friendly walk or a full on love walk. We settled on the love one. Their hands were in the back pockets way too long not to be.
9: The Smoker And The Annorexic Slut: When we went back to the car in the parking lot, the people in the car next to us were going, too. It was a gutter looking man smoking with a mohawk/ponytail and a woman in short dress who was skinnier than Lindsay Lohan minus a Mary Kate Olsen. He skirt was really short.

Katie: I don't think her skirt was short enough because you couldn't see her vagina.

10: Cruisen': All this is, is that we decided to go on a driving spree instead of going home.
11: U Turn: This was a great moment. We took a wrong turn, the way home, and Katie did a perfect U turn to turn around and go back the other way. It was very nice, there was no curb contact.
12: Hurricane Mitch 98: This was amazing. As we were going down the road, a bright yellow bubble car drove by with the largest decal saying "Hurricane Mitch 98." We couldn't tell if the driver was a man or a woman. All we knew was, was that they were short.
13: The Green Bay Ghetto: Dark, screaming, screaching and no where to run.
14: A Few Sk8r Boiz: At a stop sign, three scary skater kids walk past the car and gave us evil glares. We stayed quite in hopes they didn't notice us.
15: Flat Tire In A Dip: We drove past this van that was on an angle in the middle of nowhere. We debated if it had a flat, or if it was just on an angle. We judged by it being on a hill and having slashed tires, it was both.
16: Crazy Bunny: After talking about hooks on handles and slaughtered girls, we were driving in the middle of nowhere and a bunny runs in front of the car. Oh yeah, we jumped... High.
17: My Heart Will Go On: Celene Dion rocked the last leg in our little adventure around Green Bay on a CD Katies older brother won during a middle school dance long ago. I was dubbed a backseat singer.

And that is the list, bizzitches. You may not get it, but it means a lot to us four.

Talk to y'all soon.

2 Comments:

At 3:55 PM, Blogger Magster said...

Thats was effing GREAT!!!!

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Magster said...

Thats was effing GREAT!!!!

 

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