Tuesday, September 27, 2005

The past few days.

Mrs. Mellberg: You know, class, men are retarded.

Mrs. Brown, to me: Pencil Case! Did you try to loose weight, or did you just... Loose it?

Jacob: Ben, what is Kosher?
Ben: Stuff made with animal fat and other weird stuff... Like the Jello you just ate... I can't eat that.
Sarah: Wait! You mean that I am not supposed to eat the Jello like I just did?!
Ben: You don't have to, but you aren't Jewish, so you can eat it.
Sarah: Oh, God! You scared me!

Mrs. Mellberg: If you don't buddy up, you're gonna get raped!

Diana: Some lady ran her sixteen month old baby over.
Me: Do you remember when you told us about that baby being stabbed in New York?
Diana: Yes, I do. I guess I am just the bearer of dead baby news.
[Mr. Schultz overhears]
Mr. Schultz, calling on Diana to answer a question: Yes, Babystabber?

Stephanie, looking at an apple Taylor has written on with pen: Taylor, I dare you to eat that apple now that you wrote on it.
Taylor: Okay! [Eats apple] Oh my God! This is nasty! I can taste the ink! It tastes like pen! I am going to be ink poisoned! [Takes another bite] Ahhh! I can feel it eating my enamel off!
Me, as a joke to the gullible Taylor: You know, ink spreads fast and carries diseases. By now, it is in your stomach and you are going to get really sick.
Taylor: [Gags] I can feel it already...

Ellen: Is it moral for a family to have a baby just to kill for it's bone marrow for an older, ill child?
Mr. Tumpane: Hm... I don't know. But I like how you are thinking. Deep.
Megan: That is Law and Order shit right there.

Joe: Paul, you need to loose weight.
Madame: Noooo! Joe! Why did you say that?! Now he is going to feel bad about himself. He is skin and bones!
Paul: Madame! Are you just going to sit there and make me take that?! He called me fat!

Me: Paul, are your underwear inside-out again, today?
Paul: Oh my God, no! Madame, did you hear about that?
Madame: Hear about what?
Paul: Yesterday, my underwear--
Madame, holding her ears: LALALA! Don't wanna hear it!

Brigid: My scarlet letter is "S" for slut!

You know, once in a while, I like quote posts.

2 Comments:

At 2:57 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

BABYSTABBER = HILARIOUS

now our comp lit class thinks that I am insane for laughing at that...


and they are right.

 
At 8:05 AM, Blogger Wolfae said...

Hi. Berndt won. WOOHOO YSEAHLYFGONEWLNDLHDSHFS:LDHFSD! Sorry....spaz. *sigh* I'm okay now.

 

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