Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Mass!

Okay. I am finally updating! Yay! Or in Seamstress/Cinderblock language: DURRRRRRR!

Okay, then.

Well, today was mass day. But before the grand time of prayer and nasty bread eating was English and US History.

In English, Mrs. Mellberg was very... Um... Mrs. Mellberg, to say the least.

Mrs. Mellberg, after our class forgets that today is pledge check day and our money is due: Alright, then! I don't even want to put our class total down on the paper! That's how pathetic it is! Let me see what happens to people that forget their pledge money! I hope you all get detentions for life! Not really, though. That is [demon voice] eeeeevil.

That quickly evolved into a story about... Her husband!?

Mrs. Mellberg: I think I have good odds of winning the lottery tonight.
Class: Why?
Mrs. Mellberg: Yeah! You see, one Sunday afternoon, two months after we got married, my husband and I were outside washing the car. I know... Hot. Anyway, when we were done, I sat on the porch like women are supposed to do, and I watched him finish up. He went to go dump the soapy water out and BOOM! Lightning strikes. Husband goes down. Out cold. I start screeeeeeamin' and hooooooooollerin' and finally the neighbors come over and ask what's wrong and all I can say is, "Call 911! Call 911!" So they call the fire and rescue squad and they zap him with those things and [depressed voice] bring him "back to life."

Mrs. Mellberg: I have the cutest dog! She's a white boxer!
Me: Do you kiss her?
Mrs. Mellberg: Yes! Every morning before I go to work... But not on the lips. That would be weird. I kiss my kids on the lips! Wait... But not my son. My daughters get lip kisses.

Oh, life.

1 Comments:

At 5:29 PM, Blogger Kellinka said...

Your blog is hilarious. Anyway, I can't wait until tonight, even though you will probably wet yourself, and I even more can't wait until tomorrow night!

 

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